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Episode 101: Pilot Episode
Aired October 26, 1999
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Pilot Episode by Chris Laursen
The first "Remote Planet" ever! Featuring: reflections on Halloween; Ghoulie Pops; serving up Halloween 1950s sitcom style; getting salted codfish on a stick instead of candy in Newfoundland.
Vox: Chris Laursen as Unknown • Linda Quinton-Ploughman as Unknown • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Unknown
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Episode 102: Two Photographers
Aired November 23, 1999
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Two Photographers by Chris Laursen and Eduardo Miranda
Two amateur photographers head out to Gatineau Park to enjoy the fall splendor. One of the photographers loses his sanity and decends into a world of industrial madness.
Vox: Chris Laursen as Unknown • Eduardo Miranda as Unknown
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Episode 103: Mars Talk
Aired December 7, 1999
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Mars Talk by Chris Laursen and Marg Tannahill-Wade
Informal chat about the unfortunate crash of a Mars probe.
Vox: Chris Laursen as Unknown • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Unknown
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Episode 104: The Christmas Episode
Aired December 21, 1999
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The Christmas Episode by Chris Laursen and Marg Tannahill-Wade
How to make your own reindeer ornaments from used winter gloves and toilet paper rolls; Ren and Stimpy carols; Second City troupe celebrate Christmas; Run-DMC's Christmas in Hollis.
Vox: Chris Laursen as Unknown • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Unknown
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Episode 105: Lurlene Jones
Aired January 18, 2000
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Lurlene Jones by Chris Laursen and Linda Quinton-Ploughman
Lurlene Jones, the only woman in Buttonville, the town with the largest rabbit population in the United States, gives a tour of her town in this vintage radio documentary.
LURLENE: Why I heard the other day from the mail guy, Rawl Jones, that over in the big city where they got all that toxic stuff comin out of pipes that the rabbit droppin's are the colours of the rainbow! Geez, ain't those city folk the lucky ones!
Vox: Chris Laursen as Pappy, Sheriff, Mecky and Meryl • Linda Quinton-Ploughman as Lurlene Jones
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Episode 106: The Backwards Episode
Aired February 8, 2000
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The Backwards Episode by Chris Laursen and Marg Tannahill-Wade
An entire episode done from end to beginning, featuring dead air, Rosie and Gregory's radio debut, satire of CKCU.
GREGORY: a strange silly thing happened to me last night on the computer which I have a hard time explainin'
ROSIE: Ohhh?
GREGORY: Y'see I turned on the computer and I got this strange little thing on the top of the screen which said OM...
ROSIE: Oh, OM, y'say...
GREGORY: ...which was quite a wee surprise to say the least and I wondered what could possibly be going on there. Do ya have any theories, Rosie?
ROSIE: Oh yesss, I do. I think you're the early victim of the Second Coming, dear. Millennium Bug II. It's going to hit us on February 29th, 2000, the leap year day, lad.
Vox: Chris Laursen as Unknown • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Unknown
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Episode 107: Elementary School Assembly
Aired February 15, 2000
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Elementary School Assembly by Chris Laursen
Principal Big Ass (It's Bigus!) tries to keep the lid on an elementary school assembly. Mrs. Whalenose's class reflects on how Bippelberry County was founded. Mrs. Klompenboppel demonstrates proper ear cleaning techniques. Funky school band.
MRS. KLOMPENBOPPEL: I am swirling the Q-Tip inside of his ear and gently prodding out the stickly gunk inside. And I pull it out and voila! Oh, God, Principal Big Ass, you have quite a disgusting amount of wax inside of your ears! Look at that huge golden nugget I've panned out of there!
Vox: Chris Laursen as Principal Bigus and Mr. Dobalina • Linda Quinton-Ploughman as Mrs. Klompenboppel • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Mrs. Whalenose, Sammy and Mrs. Teetsgimmel
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Episode 108: Seeds of Greed
Aired February 22, 2000
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Seeds of Greed by Chris Laursen
A parody of "How To Be A Millionaire" and "Greed"; a spoof of "Star Trek: Voyager"; American Express card commercial; immigration woes.
Vox: Chris Desjardins as Unknown • Chris Laursen as Unknown • Linda Quinton-Ploughman as Unknown • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Unknown • Steven Tannahill as Unknown
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Episode 109: Kate and the Boobs
Aired March 7, 2000
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Kate and the Boobs by Chris Laursen and Marg Tannahill-Wade
A soft-spoken CKCU radio host interviews indie rocker Kate from the band Kate and the Boobs, though he can't play any of her music since she hasn't released any CDs yet.
Vox: Chris Laursen as Radio Host • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Kate
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Episode 110: Gibberish
Aired March 21, 2000
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Gibberish by Chris Laursen
An episode of complete gibberish with music.
Vox: Chris Laursen as Himself • Linda Quinton-Ploughman as Herself
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Episode 111: MTV Europe Dance Party
Aired March 28, 2000
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MTV Europe Dance Party by Chris Laursen
MTV Europe host Jörgen interviews ravers at an outdoor party live from Göthenburg, Sweden. The chickens get a bit rowdy.
Vox: Chris Laursen as Jörgen • Linda Quinton-Ploughman as Unknown • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Unknown
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Episode 112: Howard Shores
Aired April 4, 2000
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Howard Shores by Chris Laursen
Rude talk show host Howard Shores puts down his guests; Québec Minister of Culture Cecile Marchand defends her pro-francophone views.
Vox: Chris Laursen as Howard Shores • Linda Quinton-Ploughman as Unknown • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Unknown
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Episode 113: La Secret de la Jeunesse
Aired April 11, 2000
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La Secret de la Jeunesse by Chris Laursen
Gymnastique en musique avec Jean et Janette. A spoof using a classic French-language exercise record from the 1950s.
Vox: Heather Duthie as Unknown • Chris Laursen as Unknown
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Episode 114: Music Collectors
Aired April 18, 2000
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Music Collectors by Chris Laursen and Heather Duthie
Two music collectors discuss their latest bounty from the twice-annual record fair.
Vox: Heather Duthie as Unknown • Chris Laursen as Unknown
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Episode 115: In The Future
Aired April 25, 2000
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In The Future by Chris Laursen
Examining what the future will be like from a cyberpunk perspective. LINEAR THINKING: In the future... Chocolate cures headaches, Coca-Cola induces sinus relief, hamburgers cure impotency, beer clears allergies and iced tea prevents AIDS. Pharmacists and food companies sleep together under the stars on the moon. And there's always a one-way ticket available to hyper-reality.
Vox: Chris Laursen as Unknown • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Unknown
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Episode 116: The French Episode
Aired May 2, 2000
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The French Episode by Chris Laursen and Marg Tannahill-Wade
Québec Minister of Culture Cecile Marchand defends her province's heritage in this showcase of francophone music and humour.
Vox: Chris Laursen as Unknown • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Unknown • Rachel Tannahill as Unknown
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Episode 117: The Brightest Star
Aired May 9, 2000
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The Brightest Star by Chris Laursen
Police investigate the mysterious disappearance of a man's true love, only to find out that he's simply searching for the ghost of his long-dead mother.
Vox: Chris Laursen as Unknown • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Unknown • Rachel Tannahill as Unknown
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Episode 118: Brunch with Indira
Aired May 15, 2000
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Brunch with Indira by Chris Laursen
The first-ever episode of "Brunch With Indira" featuring a man who defends pot bellies; an emotionless fast food chef; androgynous astrologist Shazzy Nichol; a metal star speaks against the net.
INDIRA: I see you have many, many bowls here in the kitchen. What shall we do with your bowls today?
ALLAN: Pardon?INDIRA: Your mixing bowls, Allan.
Vox: Marg Tannahill-Wade as Indira Mombira, Kate and Rosie • Chris Laursen as Murray Takamoto, Ron Pitchfork, Shazzy Nichol, Allan Pithole, Lans Ooglock, Gregory and Metal Cut Fan
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Episode 119: Top Squad
Aired May 29, 2000
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Top Squad by Chris Laursen
The pilot episode of the long lost 1970s cop series "Top Squad". Tulip Blooms and Spanki Spumoni pose as clams to bust an illegal clam bake ring run by the notorious criminal Jethro Nudge. Chauvinist cop Lt. Wad gets in the way.
SEXIST COP: Woman's liberation? Woman... you'd better get yourself in this kitchen and fix me some food.
LT. WAD: Okay... that man knows the real deal.... Do you girls?
TULIP: Chew my peddles, Wad.
SPANKI: Spank me.... or not.
Vox: Chris Laursen as Regent Pillbox (Lt. Wad), Chief Pacino and Jethro Nudge • Linda Quinton-Ploughman as Spanki Spumoni and The Lone Clam • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Tulip Blooms and Clam Addict
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Episode 120: The Restaurant
Aired June 12, 2000
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The Restaurant by Chris Laursen
Wade takes Starla to a restaurant in an industrial area for their first date and is surprised to find that chaos ensues. Needless to say, they end up getting married.
WADE: It's a nice day to be in a restaurant.
STARLA: Oh?
WADE: You know sunny out. Do you like it when it's sunny?
STARLA: Sometimes.
WADE: Yeah, me too. [pauses] Sun can give you cancer though. That's not very good, is it?
Vox: Chris Desjardins as Wade • Chris Laursen as The Restauranteur, Garçon and Bus Boy • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Starla
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Episode 121: Children's Show
Aired June 19, 2000
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Children's Show by Chris Laursen
A parody of children's programming featuring a man whose bum is made of bread; a French-language show in which people read the French side of cereal boxes; Mr. Dressdown dresses down as a vagrant; Howard Shores talk show.
Mr. Dressdown on dressing down as a vagrant:
MR. DRESSDOWN: How about this cracked bicycle helmet...
BAG LADY: Oh maybe this is better... see, it's a moth-eaten blanket.
Vox: Chris Laursen as Bread Customer, Mr. Dressdown, Anarchist and Howard Shores • Gil Maurice as the Man With the Bum Made of Bread, Monsieur Lefebvre and Politician • Linda Quinton-Ploughman as Children's Show Host and Mrs. Klompenboppe • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Tulip Saleswoman, Bag Lady and Cecile Marchand • Rachel Tannahill as Metallica Saleswoman, Theme Song Girl, Milli Panilli and French Girl • Alec Tully as Himself
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Episode 122: The 39 Steps Revisited
Aired June 26, 2000
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The 39 Steps Revisited by Chris Laursen
Documentary: A fusion of the classic Hitchcock film with modern electronic music.
Vox: Chris Laursen as Himself
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Episode 123: Natural Progression
Aired July 17, 2000
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Natural Progression by Chris Laursen and Marc-André Bélair
Gertrude steps through the mire into the afterlife; Thomas and Muffy can't get over their "nouveau-riche" neighbours; a high tech business woman is reincarnated as an infant; three severely ill people share the same bed in an Ontario hospital.
THOMAS: Pip, come here one moment.
PIP: Yes sir?
THOMAS: Can you believe that the Millen's have no help?
PIP: I can sir.
THOMAS: Serving your own food is akin to sleeping with your own wife.
Vox: Tamara Beaudoin as Narrator, The Babe, Juanita, Muffy and The Clap Patient • Marc-André Bélair as Gertrude, The Nurse, Carlita, Thomas and The Bends Patient • Chris Laursen as Mildred, The Mom, Carlos, Pip, The Runs Patient and Guest
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Episode 124: The Return of Indira Mombira
Aired July 31, 2000
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The Return of Indira Mombira by Chris Laursen
Indira Mombira contends with another unsual line-up of guests including the leader of the Nerdy Women's Movement, Star Trek: Voyager star Jeri Ryan, a greedy politician, movie critics and rude rap star Denimem.
SHAZZY: Indira, honey, let me tell you... now I know you're a Pisces right?
INDIRA: Oh yes, Shazzy, I'm very much a Spicies! I'm hip with it!
SHAZZY: Yes, well, if you examine how Uranus is aligned with the rising Venus, you'll see that there are some strange times ahead of you, Indira.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Marcel Marcelle, Carlita, Brant Beaver, Thomas and Parole Officer • Chris Laursen as Murray Takamoto, Shazzy Nichol, Ronald Reagan, Bill Broche and Denimem • Linda Quinton-Ploughman as Molly Shenanigan, Jeri Ryan, Lurlene Jones and Toni Anapolis • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Indira Mombira and Rosie
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Episode 125: American Newbie
Aired August 7, 2000
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American Newbie by Chris Laursen
A parody of "American Beauty" with hints of "Psycho" and "The Twilight Zone." Lisa's new best friend Tiffany stays over for the night and flirts with Lisa's dad; frogs fall from the sky and everyone sings.
BILLY: I was behind a Loblaw's one day... and I saw it just floating there in the breeze a pair of old lady's knickers isn't it just beautiful, how it sails along in the wind, free from everything, just letting the wind taking it along. It's almost as if the old lady's knickers were dancing with the wind. That's truly what we should all be free just like that pair of old lady's knickers. Once, those knickers where bound to be stuck to a pair of wrinkly old legs and now look at the knickers in flight it's an amazing sight. This is the most amazing thing I've ever filmed.
Vox: Natasha Abraham as Tiffany Hendren and Reporter • Chris Laursen as Mr. Newbie, Narrator, Mother, Regent Pillbox, Corey, Billy, Host and Television Voice • Tina Malheiro as Lisa Newbie, Mary (Newscaster) and Police Spokeswoman
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Episode 126: PBS Membership Drive
Aired August 14, 2000
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PBS Membership Drive by Chris Laursen
The folks at PBS in upstate New York are at it again, trying to suck every last penny out of their viewship. They tantalize the viewers with an Antiques Roadshow marathon which is interjected by endless whining for cash.
ANTIQUES PATRON: Well, my mother's trousseau when she married in 1919 was a house full of furniture... and this came with it. So it's called a tallboy, eh? My husband's taken a good fancy to it. He's hanging round it day and night, touching it, opening its drawers, sticking his head in it! DEALER: Tallboys can fit in a little head.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Carlita, Mr. Seemingrod, Farmer, Brian, Phone Guy and Antiques Appraiser #2 • Chris Laursen as Charlie Rose, Al, Antiques Appraiser #1 and Customer • Linda Quinton-Ploughman as Nancy and Customer • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Indira Mombira and Customers
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Episode 127: Panic!
Aired August 21, 2000
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Panic! by Chris Laursen
Two Gimli teenagers see Wayne Rostad as their way to fame; manservant Pip becomes suspicious that master Thomas is cheating on his wife; a Market Fresh deli employee can't seem to fulfill the order of a woman with a bad accent.
GUNNAR: Pamela Wallin's pretty hot.
HUNNAR: Gah! Not as hot as Wendy Mesley!
GUNNAR: Ah-haaaaa.... Francine Pelletier, drool, drool.
HUNNAR: Hana Gartner's so cute.
GUNNAR: Peter Mansbridge... (silence)
HUNNAR: So, how about those Blue Jays?
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Gunnar, Thomas and Deli Manager • Chris Laursen as Hunnar, Wayne Rostad, Pip, Andy Rooney and Foreign Woman • Rachel Tannahill as Lady at Bus Stop, Diane Sawyer and Deli Employee
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