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Episode 201: The Flin Flon Street Poets
Aired September 26, 2000
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The Flin Flon Street Poets by Chris Laursen
Three street poets from Flin Flon, Manitoba, reflect on their new found local fame in this CBC-styled mockumentary.
CHARLIE: The waitress pays attention that what hand you tend to use the most whenever you go there, and she puts the handle so that you can pick the cup up using the hand that you commonly use.
MADGE: Isn't her boss ambidextrous?
Vox: Natasha Abraham as Madge Staples • Chris Laursen as Charlie Bronson • Tina Malheiro as Christi Brunkle
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Episode 202: DJ L.O.V.E.'s Old School Shop
Aired October 3, 2000
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DJ L.O.V.E.'s Old School Shop by Chris Laursen
OLD SCHOOL HIP HOP.
MUSIC MADNESS: Tribe Called Quest, "Like It Like That"; UK duo CJ Mackintosh & Einstein, "The Tables Are Turning"; London Posse, "How's Life In London?"; Overlord X, "Let There Be Rock"; Coldcut, "Beats & Pieces"; Kool G Rap & DJ Polo, "Cold Cuts"; Tung Twista, "Back 2 School"; also MC Lyte, Intelligent Hoodlum, Ultramagnetic MCs and Mantronix.
Vox: Chris Laursen as DJ L.O.V.E.
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Episode 203: Top Squad II: The Bread Factory
Aired October 10, 2000
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Top Squad II: The Bread Factory by Chris Laursen
The second episode of the 1970s cop series finds the female duo of Tulip Blooms and Spanki Spumoni trying to blow the cover off of a money laundering operation at a bread factory.
TULIP: Spanki... are you telling me the only reason you work for the force is so that you can afford to buy pet food?
Vox: Chris Laursen as Regent Pillbox (Lt. Wad), David Dough, Chief Pacino, Mr. Stempo and Señor Rhumba • Tina Malheiro as Jemima Finklestein and Mrs Peepers • Linda Quinton-Ploughman as Spanki Spumoni, Aleeda and Mrs. Klompenboppel • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Tulip Blooms and Breeda
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Episode 204: A Problem With Heights (Part I)
Aired October 17, 2000
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A Problem With Heights (Part I) by Chris Laursen
A parody of Alfred Hitchcock's "Vertigo." Detective John "Scottie" Ferguson has a problem with heights which keeps him from police work. He agrees to investigate a friend's wife and ends up caught in a demented love triangle.
MIDGE: So, is she pretty?
SCOTTIE: Mmm... yeah, I suppose she's got this one eyebrow though joins right up above the nose.
MIDGE: Monobrow! That's horrible!
SCOTTIE: I know. I can't understand why she doesn't pluck.
MIDGE: Do you pluck, Johnny-O?
Vox: Chris Laursen as John 'Scottie' Ferguson, Pop Popalovski, Regent Pillbox and Jean Chretien • Linda Quinton-Ploughman as Midge Wood, Lurlene Jones, Mrs. Klompenboppel and Hairdresser • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Sgt. Sweden, Madeleine Elster, Indira Mombira, Judy Barton and Maude
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Episode 205: A Problem With Heights (Part II)
Aired October 24, 2000
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A Problem With Heights (Part II) by Chris Laursen
A parody of Alfred Hitchcock's "Vertigo." Detective John "Scottie" Ferguson has a problem with heights which keeps him from police work. He agrees to investigate a friend's wife and ends up caught in a demented love triangle.
MIDGE: So, is she pretty?
SCOTTIE: Mmm... yeah, I suppose. She's got this one eyebrow though joins right up above the nose.
MIDGE: Monobrow! That's horrible!
SCOTTIE: I know. I can't understand why she doesn't pluck.
MIDGE: Do you pluck, Johnny-O?
Vox: Chris Laursen as John 'Scottie' Ferguson, Pop Popalovski, Regent Pillbox and Jean Chretien • Linda Quinton-Ploughman as Midge Wood, Lurlene Jones, Mrs. Klompenboppel and Hairdresser • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Sgt. Sweden, Madeleine Elster, Indira Mombira, Judy Barton and Maude
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Episode 206: Elections 2000
Aired November 21, 2000
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Elections 2000 by Chris Laursen
A show poking fun at party politics before the 2000 Canadian federal election.
LUCIEN BOUCHARD: You see there this big festering wound on the map oozing with scummy sickness and deprivation? That is Ontario. Do you see what we over here have to put up with? It's a disease. A rotting disease. Here on the shores of the Riviere Outaouais you see the wonderful city of Hull. This is where we keep all of our doctors to keep the disease from spreading into the belle province.
Vox: Chris Laursen as Tibsy, Mark and Lucien Bouchard • Tina Malheiro as Meko and Reba
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Episode 207: Waiting For 5 (Procrastination)
Aired November 28, 2000
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Waiting For 5 (Procrastination) by Chris Laursen and Richard Hemphill
Dorothy attempts to dislodge a procrastination bug from Martha's skull.
CASTING CALL: This was co-writer Richard Hemphill's first collaboration on "Remote Planet."
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Mortuary Workers by Richard Hemphill
Two mortuary workers discuss procrastination.
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From the Plane by Richard Hemphill
Ochto, Warrior God of Praaaaan consults with his shrink.
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Episode 208: DJ L.O.V.E.'s Old School Garage
Aired December 5, 2000
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DJ L.O.V.E.'s Old School Garage by Chris Laursen
OLD SCHOOL HIP HOP.
MUSIC MADNESS: Big Daddy Kane, "Warm It Up Kane"; Boogie Down Productions, "Advance"; L.L. Cool J, "Rock The Bells (original)"; Jill Scott, "The Way"; Lauryn Hill, "X-Factor"; Björk, "I Miss You (remix)"; T-Ski, "Catch The Beat"; Cold Crush Brothers, "Cold Crush"; Gang Starr featuring Nice N Smooth, "DWYCK"; Outkast, "Bombs Over Baghdad"; Propellerheads featuring the Jungle Brothers
Vox: Chris Laursen as DJ L.O.V.E.
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Episode 209: Thunder Death
Aired December 21, 2000
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Thunder Death by Chris Laursen and Richard Hemphill
A CKCU co-op student has to interview the dopey bassist from a local band, Thunder Death.
Vox: Chris Laursen as Radio Announcer • Richard Hemphill as the Bassist from Thunder Death
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Episode 210: An Indira Mombira's Holiday Special
Aired December 19, 2000
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An Indira Mombira's Holiday Special by Chris Laursen and Richard Hemphill
Indira Mombira decides to give into her producer Richard's demands and do a "holiday special" feature a horny tabla player, travel agents Dave and Dave, astrologer Shazzy Nichol and nudist advocate/plastic surgeon Dr. Nudo.
INDIRA: When did you start playing tabla drums?
RAJ PUNDA: Oh, when I was in my mother's womb, Indira. You see, my mother liked to slap her belly a lot while I was in there, and she did so in the style of the master Ustad Barim Barang. Ustad Barim Barang was our village's greatest tabla player and he taught me how to slap the skins, as they like to say in youth culture!
INDIRA: [giggles] I am sorry I am just imagining you slapping the skins, and it makes me very excited!
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Dave Veal and Dr. Nudo • Chris Laursen as Murray Takamoto, Raj Punda, Dave Peas and Shazzy Nichol • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Indira Mombira
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Episode 211: Best of 2000 (Part I)
Aired December 26, 2000
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Best of 2000 (Part I) by Chris Laursen and Richard Hemphill
Favorite music from the year 2000.
MUSIC MADNESS: Featuring The Smashing Pumpkins, Laika, Jim Bryson and the Occasionals, Yo La Tengo, Moonbabies, Sigur Ros, Radiohead, Blonde Redhead, Björk and more...
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Episode 212: Best of 2000 (Part II)
Aired January 2, 2001
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Best of 2000 (Part II) by Chris Laursen and Richard Hemphill
Favorite music from the year 2000.
MUSIC MADNESS: Featuring The Smashing Pumpkins, Laika, Jim Bryson and the Occasionals, Yo La Tengo, Moonbabies, Sigur Ros, Radiohead, Blonde Redhead, Björk and more...
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Episode 213: DJ L.O.V.E.'s Old School World
Aired January 9, 2001
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DJ L.O.V.E.'s Old School World by Chris Laursen
OLD SCHOOL HIP HOP.
MUSIC MADNESS: A variety of favorite old school cuts.
Vox: Chris Laursen as DJ L.O.V.E.
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Episode 214: Ochto, Warrior God Of Praaaan
Aired January 23, 2001
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Ochto, Warrior God Of Praaaan by Chris Laursen and Richard Hemphill
Donut shop employee Florence Turvey is abducted by aliens and taken to the distant planet of Praaaan where Warrior God Ochto plans on using her gift of gab to defeat his enemies.
FLORENCE: You aren't going to probe me, are you?
OCHTO: Probe you? Probe you? Probing is something that only perverted aliens do. Do you think that I, Ochto, Warrior God of Praaaan, have nothing better to do than poke about where the sun don't shine? Besides, my name is Ochto, not Procto. [pause] Ha! Ha ha! Good one, Ochto.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Ochto, Zaapeen, Martha and Narrator • Chris Laursen as Raajaa, Zeepour and Dorothy • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Florence Turvey
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Episode 215: Night of the Living Fudd
Aired January 30, 2001
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Night of the Living Fudd by Richard Hemphill
After Florence Turvey's abduction by aliens, the Russian Kvetch brothers decide to investigate unusual happenings in the backwoods of Missipequaqua, finding great terror: that the town's residents are all transforming into Elmer Fudd!
ANTON: There are always peculiar goings-on around here. Just last week I saw a flying saucer. I was at the donut shop going through the garbage bins, looking for love in all the wrong places, I suppose, when I saw a huge glowing disk in the sky.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Anton and Carlita • Richard Hemphill as Jurgis, Uke and Zeke • Chris Laursen as Narrator, Leonid and Duke
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Episode 216: DJ L.O.V.E's Old School Odyssey
Aired February 6, 2001
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DJ L.O.V.E's Old School Odyssey by Chris Laursen
OLD SCHOOL HIP HOP.
MUSIC MADNESS: Eric B & Rakim, "My Melody (original)"; Ice-T, "Make It Funky"; Paris, "The Devil Made Me"; Shinehead, "Know How Fe Chat"; Daddy Freddy, "Pain Killa"; 3rd Bass, "The Gas Face"; Masta Ace and Action, "Simon Says"; Run-DMC, "Hard Times"; US3, "Eleven Long Years"; also featuring Overlord X, Silver Bullet, Shelly Thunder.
Vox: Chris Laursen as DJ L.O.V.E.
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Episode 217: Guess That TV Show
Aired February 13, 2001
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Guess That TV Show by Alan Smithee
What does a writer do when he's at an absolute loss to write something fresh? He steals a script from one of the most popular shows on television, changes the proper nouns to fictional ones and credits it all to Alan Smithee. Needless to say, our over-the-top parody of "Dawson's Creek" turned out quite hilarious. No more can be said in order to avoid a law suit.
Vox: Natasha Abraham as Georgia, Ella and Sugar • Richard Hemphill as Habib, Wooster Jeeves, Oma and Abner • Chris Laursen as Eugene Oregon, Montgomery, Principal Skinner and DJ L.O.V.E. • Tina Malheiro as Valentina, Vera Wang and Girl
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Episode 218: The Human Machine
Aired February 20, 2001
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The Human Machine by Chris Laursen and Richard Hemphill
Male mode David Dough eagerly awaits the arrival of the Contessa di Aspora at his soiree, but she is nowhere to be found. The guests sit down to a documentary about the unnatural habits of high tech businessmen.
AMA: No one quite spices up a party like the Contessa.
LEMUEL: You've been to parties with her before?
AMA: No. But she is quite legendary. I heard she consumed the entire contents of a buffet table at the Grimaldi family palace in Monaco. King Rainier couldn't stop laughing the entire time. They eventually had to sedate him for fear that he might guffaw himself into the afterlife.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Waddles, Martha, Ama Stole, Adam West, Vagrant and Businessman #2 • Chris Laursen as David Dough, Dorothy, Businessman #1, Security Guard and Lemuel Gulliver • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Flower, Stewardess, Clerk, Weeping Woman, Spouse, Mindy and Nerdy Woman
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Episode 219: Murder Most Stinky
Aired March 13, 2001
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Murder Most Stinky by Richard Hemphill
Private detective Madison Wisconsin is hired to find out who killed the elder McMicmac; everyone in the family is suspect, and they're all getting knocked off one at a time as Madison delves deeper into the case.
MADISON: Mac McMicmac struck me as a simple man. In fact, he struck me several times as a simple man, then he struck me four or five times in the belly as a complicated man. He was very tall for a man of his stature, but seemed much shorter on television. He had jet black hair, just the one, and a glass eye that he fiddled with nervously. As he sat down in the chair opposite me, I couldn't help but notice the breadth of his shoulders and the way that his powerful torso tapered down to a narrow, tight waist.
Vox: Natasha Abraham as Maxine and Lizzie Borden • Richard Hemphill as Madison Wisconsin, Waddles and Announcer • Chris Laursen as Mac McMicmac, Mark and The Family Dog • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Secretary, Monique and Mixie
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Episode 220: Get Off The Internet
Aired March 20, 2001
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Get Off The Internet by Chris Laursen
Prepping protesters at the Free Trade Area of the Americas Summit in Québec City. Featuring Noam Chomsky, Jello Biafra and Unwelcomed Guests.
MUSIC MADNESS: Le Tigre, "Get Off The Internet"; Pete Rock & CL Smooth, "Anger In The Nation"; the Beat Nigs, "Television"; Rob Swift, "Television"; Gil Scott-Heron, "The Revolution Will Not Be Televised"; Meg Lee Chin, "Nazi Punks Fuck Off"; also Meat Beat Manifesto, Test Dept.
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Episode 221: DJ L.O.V.E.'s April Spinners
Aired April 10, 2001
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DJ L.O.V.E.'s April Spinners by Chris Laursen
OLD SCHOOL HIP HOP.
MUSIC MADNESS: Wee Papa Girl Rappers, "Faith"; A Tribe Called Quest, "Youthful Expression"; Cookie Crew, "Come On and Get Some"; Richie Rich & Sugar Bear, "Coming From London"; the Jungle Brothers, "Sunshine"; Asher D & Daddy Freddy, "Ragamuffin Hip Hop"; Pete Rock & CL Smooth, "Wig Out"; Eric B & Rakim, "I Know You Got Soul"; Gang Starr, "DJ Premier In Deep Concentration"; Public Enemy, "Rebel Without A Pause"; Schoolly D, "Parkside 5-2"; Ice-T, "High Rollers".
Vox: Chris Laursen as DJ L.O.V.E.
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Episode 222: FTAA 1
Aired April 24, 2001
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FTAA, Part 1 by Chris Laursen
Documentary
A two-part documentary looking at the preparation for and aftermath of the protests in Québec City against globalization. Featuring street interviews, an independent documentary, Jello Biafra speaks on the protests and protestors debrief.
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Episode 223: FTAA 2
Aired May 1, 2001
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FTAA, Part 2 by Chris Laursen
Documentary
A two-part documentary looking at the preparation for and aftermath of the protests in Québec City against globalization. Featuring street interviews, an independent documentary, Jello Biafra speaks on the protests and protestors debrief.
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Episode 224: Dave and Dave
Aired May 15, 2001
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Dave and Dave by Chris Laursen and Richard Hemphill
Dave and Dave reflect on their years as rock stars doing duets with dolphins, jamming with Milli Vanilli who used their pet turtles as castinetes and trying to come to grips with their deceased dog Barney. But in the end, they end up stuck in adjoining wells with alligators... or are they crocodiles?
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Dave • Chris Laursen as Dave
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Episode 225: Season Two Finale
Aired May 22, 2001
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Season Two Finale by Chris Laursen and Richard Hemphill
Ochto, Warrior God of Praaaaan goes to the Antiques Roadshow to determine the worth of a human heart; Martha and Dorothy endure a creepy whacko on the bus; the fairy tale of Sleeping Beauty; Psycho causes chaos in the office.
WHACKO: Did you take a transfer when you boarded the bus? That's how buses reproduce, you know, by transfers. People go from bus to bus carrying transfers like bees carry pollen from flower to flower.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Ochto, Farmer Dan, Psycho, Martha, Whacko, Narrator and Martin Phincton • Chris Laursen as Antiques Appraiser, Preston Manning, Mr. Roston, Dorothy and David Dough • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Felisha Norbenborm, Melanie, Miss Wandell, Flower, Sleeping Beauty and Dan's Wife
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Antiques Road Show in Space by Richard Hemphill
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