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Ep. # Title Air Date
801 Season Eight Premiere 2006.10.04
802 Help Is Hard to Find 2006.10.11
803 Summer Is Definitely Over 2006.10.18
804 2006 Funding Drive Episode #1 2006.10.25
805 2006 Funding Drive Episode #2 2006.11.01
806 Leggo My Soul! 2006.11.08
807 All You Planet Are Belong to Us 2006.11.15
808 The Big Lazy 2006.11.22
809 Swish Me Up 2006.11.29
810 Are You Being Servile? 2006.12.06
811 Running Satire 2006.12.13
812 Santa Claus Is Running This Town 2006.12.20
813 As the Pole Turns 2005 2006.12.27
814 Adding It Up 2007.01.03
815 Random Noises 2007.01.10
816 Across the Universe! 2007.01.17
817 On a Tear 2007.01.24
818 Both Kinds of Savage 2007.01.31
819 Richard Hemphill's The She Pirate 2007.02.07
820 Snoozy Suzie's Valentine, Part One 2007.02.14
821 Snoozy Suzie's Valentine, Part Two 2007.02.21
822 Richard Hemphill's The Tea Party 2007.02.28
823 Demons and Dollars 2007.03.07
824 Chlorination Street 2007.03.14
825 It's "Pushbroom," Silly! 2007.03.21
826 The Story of the Three Pigs 2007.03.28
827 Canadian Trike 2007.04.04
828 April Showers Make You Wet 2007.04.11
829 Suburban Legends 2007.04.18
830 Oh! So Powerful 2007.04.25
831 The Revenge of Saliva-Jane 2007.05.02
832 Hey Mac, Feelin' Lucky? 2007.05.09
833 Finding Our Way 2007.05.16
834 Frankenbaby 2007.05.23
835 Season Eight Finale 2007.05.30
836 Season Eight All-Outtakes Special 2007.06.06

Episode 801:  Season Eight Premiere
Aired October 4, 2006

Down Under by Bill Demmery
The latest in razor technology-up above and "down under!"
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as ManBill Demmery as AnnouncerTonia Snow as Woman

Minions Anonymous by Andrew Kirkwood
First aired in Episode #604
Finally--a charity to support the nameless pawns of powermad supervillains.
Vox: Dan Enright as Minion #1Richard Hemphill as Minion #3Shalome Swinamer as Minion #2Marg Tannahill-Wade as Announcer

Blind Date Hell by Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #713
"He has a speech impediment and smells slightly of faeces..."
Vox: Nancy Kenny as DianeMarg Tannahill-Wade as Emily

A Day at the Spa by Bill Demmery
Anything in the name of beauty.
Vox: Bill Demmery as YohannRichard Hemphill as Herzberg, Kid and UlfTonia Snow as TanyaMarg Tannahill-Wade as MargaretDave Wade as Dad

Cross Country by Bill Demmery
A coffee-fueled cross-country epic!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as HusbandRichard Hemphill as ServerMarg Tannahill-Wade as Wife

  Length: 21:51  |  5.1 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 802:  Help Is Hard to Find
Aired October 11, 2006

Hobo Express by Bill Demmery
He's not really a hobo, but he did stay at a hotel last night!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as HoboBill Demmery as PasserbyTonia Snow as Announcer

Honest Ted's Funeral Fun Factory by Dan Enright
First aired in Episode #706
Honest Ted puts the fun back into funerals!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Honest Ted, Teen Dude and PirateRichard Hemphill as Mourning Man and PreacherTonia Snow as Little Girl and Raver GirlMarg Tannahill-Wade as Old Lady

Maid Service by Bill Demmery and Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #619
Cleaning can be fun!
Vox: Andrew Kirkwood as Simon WussyTonia Snow as Gretchen Kurdbottom

Kanata 9-1-1, Episode #06 by Bill Demmery
Internet Down: Economic catastrophe strikes God's Little Cornfield as a denizen's Internet connection fails!
Vox: Dan Enright as OperatorRichard Hemphill as CallerTonia Snow as Announcer

Computing with Tardzan by Bill Demmery
Our favourite apeman talks about computers bugs and walls of fire.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as AnnouncerRichard Hemphill as TardzanMarg Tannahill-Wade as Janet

Can't Get Yer Kids... #2 by Bill Demmery
Cant' get yer kids to leave home? Here's an idea...
Vox: Marg Tannahill-Wade as Crazy Old Lady

  Length: 22:27  |  5.3 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 803:  Summer Is Definitely Over
Aired October 18, 2006

Can't Get Yer Kids... #3 by Bill Demmery
Can't get yer kids to leave home? Here's an idea...
Vox: Marg Tannahill-Wade as Crazy Old Lady

Equal Opportunity Bigot by Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #724
Offense is in the selective eye of the beholder.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as JoeRichard Hemphill as Bubba-Cooter

Snoozy Suzie's Summer Holidays by Bill Demmery
Banned from Summer Camp, feisty little Snoozy Suzie builds her own.
Vox: Bill Demmery as GeezixRichard Hemphill as Camp Counsellor and Little KidTonia Snow as Snoozy SuzieMarg Tannahill-Wade as Mom and Ms. QuarterpanelDave Wade as Dad

Facing Your Mortality by Richard Hemphill
First aired in Episode #623
VasculocranialhypoleukoWHAT? Ginger Beware conducts a terminal interview.
Vox: Dan Enright as Ginger BewareAndrew Kirkwood as Ewen McEwen

  Length: 22:00  |  5.2 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 804:  2006 Funding Drive Episode #1
Aired October 25, 2006

Always Wired on Tim Hortons by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #722
Dear ol' Dad's had one too many.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as LouBill Demmery as DadRichard Hemphill as Son

Candida and Geneva at the Wax Museum by Richard Hemphill
First aired in Episode #623
Wax dummies are poor conversationalists.
Vox: Tonia Snow as CandidaMarg Tannahill-Wade as Geneva

RP's Funniest Moments #1 by Remote Planet
A montage of funny moments on Remote Planet.

The Rectal Muffler by Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #719
D'you smell cherries?
Vox: Bill Demmery as Nerdy GuyRichard Hemphill as AnnouncerTonia Snow as Tired Lady and Supermodel

Popsi-Cola #1 by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #732
A sentimental look back at Dear Old Mom.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Announcer and Landscaping BossDan Enright as GuyTonia Snow as Mom

Beach Blanket Baileys by Bill Demmery
Just try drinking around the campfire like they do on TV!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Max KreepingRichard Hemphill as Major MakeupMarg Tannahill-Wade as Carol-Anne Meighen-Ewen

RP's Funniest Moments #2 by Bill Demmery and Remote Planet
More funny moments from Remote Planet.

  Length: 17:52  |  4.2 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 805:  2006 Funding Drive Episode #2
Aired November 1, 2006

The New Guy by Bill Demmery and Shalome Swinamer
First aired in Episode #719
Haysoos pays a visit to the new Pope.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Pope BenedictRichard Hemphill as CamerlengoShalome Swinamer as Haysoos

Candida and Geneva On the Street by Richard Hemphill
First aired in Episode #733
Candida and Geneva play Whore/Not Whore on the streets of Vanier.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Creepy GuyTonia Snow as CandidaMarg Tannahill-Wade as Geneva

Thanks 4 Asking by Richard Hemphill
First aired in Episode #733
A young man breaks the news to his parents: he's... Super.
Vox: Bill Demmery as SonRichard Hemphill as DadMarg Tannahill-Wade as Mom

Daddys' Boys by Bill Demmery and Tonia Snow
Ben and Justin trade barbs and boasts.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as JustinAndrew Kirkwood as Ben

  Length: 15:45  |  3.7 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 806:  Leggo My Soul!
Aired November 8, 2006

Can't Get Yer Kids... #4 by Bill Demmery
Can't get yer kids to leave home? Here's an idea...
Vox: Marg Tannahill-Wade as Crazy Old Lady

Popsi-Cola #2 by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #732
Memorable 80's music turns morning commuters into street dancers!
Vox: Dan Enright as GuyRichard Hemphill as AnnouncerTonia Snow as Gal

Satan vs. Canada by Bill Demmery and Tonia Snow
The Prince of Darkness sues over unlicensed use of "666."
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as JudgeRichard Hemphill as SatanMarg Tannahill-Wade as Defense Attorney

Sponsored by Acme by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #733
A community events calendar from the year 2011.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Announcer #2Richard Hemphill as Announcer #1Marg Tannahill-Wade as Announcer #3

Late Night with the Friendly Giant by Bill Demmery
Friendly and the boys laugh it up, and Guy Fawkes brings the house down.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Friendly, Rusty, Jerome and Guy FawkesMarg Tannahill-Wade as Queen Elizabeth I

  Length: 23:03  |  5.4 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 807:  All You Planet Are Belong to Us
Aired November 15, 2006

Can't Get Yer Kids... #5 by Bill Demmery
Can't get yer kids to leave home? Here's an idea...
Vox: Marg Tannahill-Wade as Crazy Old Lady

The Squeaky Tire by Bill Demmery
What's that squeaking sound coming from Johnny's room?
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as JohnnyRichard Hemphill as DadMarg Tannahill-Wade as Mom

A Visit from the Tooth Fairy by Richard Hemphill
First aired in Episode #623
Tooth Fairy hiring standards have gone wayyy down!
Vox: Bill Demmery as the Tooth FairyRichard Hemphill as Little Kid

Dream Date 2 by Bill Demmery
Your dream man just might have looked you up online...
Vox: Tonia Snow as JoanetteMarg Tannahill-Wade as NatashaDave Wade as Ingemar

Snort-Rite by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #722
Some men just ain't comfortable at the pharmacy.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as ManTonia Snow as ClerkMarg Tannahill-Wade as Woman

Kanata 9-1-1, Episode #07 by Bill Demmery
An unstylish Downtowner escapes from the bus compound and terrorises the Kanata Centrum until apprehended by a takedown team!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Officer Kyle WazooskiRichard Hemphill as CallerTonia Snow as AnnouncerDave Wade as Operator

The Squeaky Tire, Smartass Edition by Bill Demmery
This is what happens when the producer steps outside for a moment...
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as MomRichard Hemphill as DadMarg Tannahill-Wade as Johnny

  Length: 23:08  |  5.4 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 808:  The Big Lazy
Aired November 22, 2006

Down Under by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #801
The latest in razor technology-up above and "down under!"
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as ManBill Demmery as AnnouncerTonia Snow as Woman

Daddys' Boys by Bill Demmery and Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #805
Ben and Justin trade barbs and boasts.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as JustinAndrew Kirkwood as Ben

Cross Country by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #801
A coffee-fueled cross-country epic!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as HusbandRichard Hemphill as ServerMarg Tannahill-Wade as Wife

Bashing the Fat by Tonia Snow
Let the Nutripharmagenobiological Society help you lose weight the spirit-crushing way!
Vox: Bill Demmery as AnnouncerRichard Hemphill as JurgenAndrew Kirkwood as Angus and Wimpy GuyTonia Snow as Mandy

A Day at the Spa by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #801
Anything in the name of beauty.
Vox: Bill Demmery as YohannRichard Hemphill as Herzberg, Kid and UlfTonia Snow as TanyaMarg Tannahill-Wade as MargaretDave Wade as Dad

  Length: 22:10  |  5.2 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 809:  Swish Me Up
Aired November 29, 2006

Can't Get Yer Kids... #6 by Bill Demmery
Can't get yer kids to leave home? Here's an idea...
Vox: Marg Tannahill-Wade as Crazy Old Lady

Temporarily Yours by Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #728
Temp agency terror.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as CandidateMarg Tannahill-Wade as Recruiter

Swisher Mop by Bill Demmery
Retired adult video stars Jon Buryme and Candi Cans flog a revolutionary new mop in their own inimitable way.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Jon BurymeTonia Snow as Candi Cans

Moose Nads College by Bill Demmery and Marg Tannahill-Wade
Pragmatic students choose Moose Nads College of the North!
Vox: Richard Hemphill as AnnouncerAndrew Kirkwood as GuyTonia Snow as Gal

  Length: 22:29  |  5.3 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 810:  Are You Being Servile?
Aired December 6, 2006

Glade Maritimes Collection by Bill Demmery and Tonia Snow
Enjoy new fragrances like Low Tide and After The Hooley!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Little Girl and FriendBill Demmery as PauliceRichard Parks as AnnouncerTonia Snow as Mom

Out of Line by Tonia Snow
Would you like fries with that cash withdrawal?
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Clerk #1Dan Enright as Clerk #2Richard Hemphill as Customer

A Fine Romance by Richard Hemphill
First aired in Episode #604
...except, he's married...
Vox: Richard Hemphill as ReginaldMarg Tannahill-Wade as Betty

Maid Service II by Tonia Snow
Just when you thought it was safe to put down the mop!
Vox: Andrew Kirkwood as Simon WussyTonia Snow as Gretchen Kurdbottom

Death Prattle by Bill Demmery
Even Death and Satan are not above a little professional rivalry.
Vox: Dan Enright as DeathRichard Hemphill as Satan

  Length: 22:46  |  5.3 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 811:  Running Satire
Aired December 13, 2006

Whenevers by Bill Demmery
The new hyperabsorbent adult undergarment - careful with that swimming pool!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Old ManTonia Snow as Old WomanMarg Tannahill-Wade as Announcer

Canadian Tireless by Marc-André Bélair
First aired in Episode #726
The jobless Canadian Tire couple ask an Italian Don for help.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as WaiterBill Demmery as TedRichard Hemphill as Don FettuccineMarg Tannahill-Wade as Gloria

The Angel Hunter by Bill Demmery
A fond and slightly cheeky tribute to the late Paul Irwin.
Vox: Bill Demmery as The Angel HunterRichard Hemphill as Caught AngelTonia Snow as Singing Angel

On the Run Again by Bill Demmery
A cheeky tribute to Wayne Rostad's TV show. Which was cancelled shortly after this aired. Ouch.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Wayne RostadRichard Hemphill as Goober McCreadyAndrew Kirkwood as Police OfficerTonia Snow as Announcer

  Length: 22:26  |  5.2 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 812:  Santa Claus Is Running This Town
Aired December 20, 2006

Santa Claus Is Running This Town by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #709
Santa Claus hires some muscle to help with 'donations' at the Toy Parade. Tooth Fairy subplot shamelessly appropriated from Richard Hemphill.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Max KreepingBill Demmery as Vito ChiarelliRichard Hemphill as Fire Chief Woody BurnsTonia Snow as Little SuzieMarg Tannahill-Wade as Verma CelliDave Wade as Santa Claus

The Remote Before Christmas by Bill Demmery and Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #709
Cheesy Yuletide studio poetry.
Vox: Bill Demmery as HimselfTonia Snow as Herself

  Length: 28:51  |  13.0 MB  |  64kbps.
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Episode 813:  As the Pole Turns 2005
Aired December 27, 2006

As the Pole Turns 2005 by Richard Hemphill
First aired in Episode #710
Poor Santa Claus and the residents of the North Pole are thrown into melodramatic mayhem when Rudolph's alcoholism and Mrs. Claus' infidelity surface during the Christmas season. Featuring seasonal old school hip hop classics. A re-editing of the original hour-long classic from Season Three.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Dr. Nudo, Elf Two, Jeffy, Lester Beware, Mandrake, Phone Voice and VladChris Laursen as Elf One, Onion and Santa ClausMarg Tannahill-Wade as Mrs. Claus and SammyShalome Swinamer as Soap Voice, Trixie and WilmaRachel Tannahill as Vienna de Beauchampignon

  Length: 29:35  |  13.0 MB  |  64kbps.
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Episode 814:  Adding It Up
Aired January 3, 2007

MasterSwipe #1 by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #613
Showin' off yer scars at the tavern for free drinks: priceless!
Vox: Bill Demmery as AnnouncerDan Enright as Hospital AnnouncerRichard Hemphill as Bratty Kid #1Andrew Kirkwood as Bratty Kid #2Tonia Snow as Wife

Respiralux by Dan Enright
First aired in Episode #506
Who needs atmosphere to get a breath of fresh air?
Vox: Dan Enright as Ginger Beware and AnnouncerJuanita DeVos as Preacher WomanJamie Douglas as Man

Ritalin for Husbands by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #616
Are you having trouble with your husband?
Vox: Bill Demmery as HusbandAndrew Kirkwood as AnnouncerTonia Snow as Wife

MasterSwipe #2 by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #613
Don't worry, don't worry--we'll plead Nakedus Corpuses!
Vox: Damien Bailey as CosmeticianMarc-André Bélair as Pageant ClerkBill Demmery as HairstylistDan Enright as Announcer, Customer and ManiacRichard Hemphill as SalesmanAndrew Kirkwood as LawyerTonia Snow as Saleswoman

Apocalypso! by Richard Hemphill
First aired in Episode #604
The Apocalypse, playing now!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Critic and DudeDan Enright as Announcer and HusbandRichard Hemphill as crazed PreacherAndrew Kirkwood as NerdTonia Snow as WifeShalome Swinamer as Lady #1Marg Tannahill-Wade as Lady #2

Squeak! by Dan Enright
First aired in Episode #724
Catch the hazy new craze that's sweeping Vancouver!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as British ChapBill Demmery as Mayor CliffyRichard Hemphill as Announcer and Stoned Dude

Good Clean Innocent Fun Poker Party Dot-Net by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #733
Learn how to lose your life's savings through online gambling!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Announcer #2Richard Hemphill as Announcer #1 and Addictionations CounsellorTonia Snow as Gambler #2Marg Tannahill-Wade as Gambler #1Dave Wade as Gambler #3

MasterSwipe #3 by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #613
Don't forget the safety ropes...
Vox: Damien Bailey as SalesmanMarc-André Bélair as Caver #2Bill Demmery as CuratorRichard Hemphill as Caver #1 and RescuerAndrew Kirkwood as Caver #1Tonia Snow as Announcer

IOU Direct #01 by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #619
Give us your money.
Vox: Bill Demmery as IOU Banker Guy

Choking Hazard Barbie by Dan Enright
First aired in Episode #611
Introducing the little plastic bee-otch with hands of steel!
Vox: Damien Bailey as AnnouncerBill Demmery as Crusty FatherDan Enright as Little Boy #3Richard Hemphill as Little Boy #1Andrew Kirkwood as Little Boy #2Tonia Snow as Little GirlMarg Tannahill-Wade as Docile Mother and Flower

Happy Brand Kitchen Bags by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #712
How to deal with handsome, silver-tongued devils leaping through your kitchen window.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Man from HappyRichard Hemphill as VoiceoverMarg Tannahill-Wade as Housewife

  Length: 24:51  |  5.8 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 815:  Random Noises
Aired January 10, 2007

Urban Blizzard by Bill Demmery
A wintertime smoke break becomes a struggle for survival.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as SebBill Demmery as BobRichard Hemphill as FrankTonia Snow as Janelle

The One-Tonne Challenge by Bill Demmery and Marg Tannahill-Wade
First aired in Episode #623
The operative word here is "retaaaaaarded!"
Vox: Bill Demmery as Rick MercerJennifer Farr as Passerby #2Richard Hemphill as Passerby #1Marg Tannahill-Wade as Passerby #3

Happily Ever After by Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #726
Have you ever wondered what happens after the fairy tale ends? 'Beauty and 'Rella get together and dish!
Vox: Nancy Kenny as CinderellaMarg Tannahill-Wade as Sleeping Beauty

The Adventures of Random Man by Bill Demmery
Our split-personality hero stops crimes through random acts!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Announcer and Robber #2Bill Demmery as Bystander #1 and Radio AnnouncerRichard Hemphill as Bystander #2, Random Man, Robber #1 and ServerAndrew Kirkwood as Bank Manager, Bank Teller and Random ManTonia Snow as Chaos Girl

Arts Interview by Dan Enright
An interviewer, a chiropractor, and a duck. Spot the quack! Introducing Laughterpiece Theatre, a new sister sketch-comedy group in Vancouver!
Vox: Dan Enright as InterviewerDavid Wignal as Chiropractor

  Length: 25:28  |  6.0 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 816:  Across the Universe!
Aired January 17, 2007

Across the Universe! by Richard Hemphill
Gaadaan and Baanaanaa return to earth to retrieve Florence Turvey, veteran alien abductee, and her highly-coveted biological robotic clone; but Florence gets kidnapped mid-abduction by another race of aliens.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Alien #2Bill Demmery as VanallenbeltDan Enright as Lawrence TurveyRichard Hemphill as Baanaanaa and OchtoAndrew Kirkwood as GaadaanTonia Snow as Alien #1Marg Tannahill-Wade as Florence Turvey

  Length: 27:33  |  6.4 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 817:  On a Tear
Aired January 24, 2007

Farmer's Minute #1 by Bill Demmery
A local farmer discusses trouble with p*stholes out in the country.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as ClemRichard Parks as Interviewer

Kanata 9-1-1, Episode #05 by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #732
Gripping suspense as a non-Kanatan infiltrates the Sensplex!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Officer Kyle WazooskiRichard Hemphill as OperatorMarg Tannahill-Wade as CallerTonia Snow as Announcer

It's a Dog's Life by Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #724
Two canine denizens catch up on recent events.
Vox: Bill Demmery as RexRichard Hemphill as Max

Tears Are Not Enough by Dan Enright
Canada's brightest community radio sketch-comedy talents come together for a benefit song after the roof collapses at BC Place. From Dan Enright's Laughterpiece Theatre in Vancouver.
Vox: Bill DemmeryDan EnrightRichard HemphillRichard ParksDavid WignalJenny Young

My So-Called Val Pak Life by Richard Hemphill
First aired in Episode #605
For his ongoing effort to create an oral history of the community of people who live just outside the trailer park known as Lucky Fortune Estates in the vicinity of greater White Bluffs, some PhD candidate interviews the Muckers.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as InterviewerRichard Hemphill as Donny MuckerMarg Tannahill-Wade as Connie Mucker

  Length: 25:00  |  5.9 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 818:  Both Kinds of Savage
Aired January 31, 2007

Savage Remedies by Bill Demmery
Simple jungle savages help discover Viagra, make killing on pharma stocks.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Researcher #1 and Savage #2Richard Hemphill as Researcher #2 and Savage #1Andrew Kirkwood as AnnouncerTonia Snow as Translator

Maritime Language Tapes by Bill Demmery and Tonia Snow
Jiggle your cod and learn along!
Vox: Bill Demmery as InstructorRichard Parks as StudentMarg Tannahill-Wade as Narrator

DIY by Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #719
Why men think of hardware stores asir turf.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as ClerkMarg Tannahill-Wade as Customer

Frat Brothers by Dan Enright
It's all about the whooppee cushions. From Dan Enright's Laughterpiece Theatre in Vancouver.
Vox: Dan EnrightDavid WignalJenny Young

Both Kinds of Max by Bill Demmery
Both Kinds of Music gets a co-host.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Max KreepingRichard Parks as Himself

  Length: 22:34  |  5.3 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 819:  Richard Hemphill's The She Pirate
Aired February 7, 2007

The She Pirate 2007 by Richard Hemphill
A pirate ship bound for the new world is plagued by its lady financier, Fiamella Automatica, who is most certain that major changes must be made to ensure the voyage's success. She starts a campaign to turn the crew into proper ladies, pushing the captain near the brink. A half-length cut of the original which aired December 4, 2001.
Vox: Dan Enright as GeoduckRichard Hemphill as CaptainChris Laursen as Pismo and QuahogShalome Swinamer as Fiamella Automatica

  Length: 27:45  |  6.5 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 820:  Snoozy Suzie's Valentine, Part One
Aired February 14, 2007

Snoozy Suzie's Valentine, Part One by Bill Demmery
Little Snoozy Suzie rails against the overcommercialisation of Valentine's Day, and ignites a massive riot. Geezix recovers from his Hallowe'en injuries and becomes an inspiration toa ll, and Fire Chief Burns whips the Juvenile Delinquents into shape. Originally aired in two parts on February 14 and 21. Presented here as one integral episode.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Juvenile Delinquent and Max KreepingBill Demmery as GeezixRichard Hemphill as Fire Chief Woody Burns and Mr. MuchengeltRichard Parks as Hyper HarryTonia Snow as Snoozy SuzieMarg Tannahill-Wade as Carol-Anne Meighen-Ewen, Mom, Mrs. Battelwagen and StefanyDave Wade as Dad

  Length: 37:24  |  8.8 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 821:  Snoozy Suzie's Valentine, Part Two
Aired February 21, 2007

Snoozy Suzie's Valentine, Part Two by Bill Demmery
The conclusion of our new Valentine's classic. Audio portion included in #820 and omitted from this online episode.

Dr. Phoney by Bill Demmery
Catch radio's latest pop-psychologist sensation!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Dr. BillRichard Hemphill as MarvinRichard Parks as AnnouncerMarg Tannahill-Wade as Kylia

Asshole Express by Bill Demmery
Stay over and be the best asshole you can be!
Vox: Bill Demmery as OfficerAmy Ford as Lady #2Richard Hemphill as AssholeRichard Parks as Announcer and CashierTonia Snow as Lady #1Marg Tannahill-Wade as Old Lady

  Length: 06:02  |  1.4 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 822:  Richard Hemphill's The Tea Party
Aired February 28, 2007

The Tea Party 2007 by Richard Hemphill
Two aliens from the far away galaxy of Praaaaan travel to the blue planet to try and gain a better understanding of a potential interstellar enemy. Humans turn out to be much more foul than they imagined. A half-length cut of the original which aired November 27, 2001.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Mobile Alabama, Baanaanaa and WaddlesChris Laursen as Augusta Georgia and Raajaa

  Length: 27:32  |  6.5 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 823:  Demons and Dollars
Aired March 7, 2007

Dionmonisation #1 by Bill Demmery
"Stephane Dion does not have empty, soulless eyes..." A backhanded spoof of the recent Conservative attack ads.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Announcer #2Marg Tannahill-Wade as Announcer #1

Courting Margaret by Bill Demmery and Dave Wade
A dramatic enactment of what was supposed to happen in-studio last summer. (Yes, they did actually get married!)
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Matt Damon as Richard HemphillTonia Snow as HerselfMarg Tannahill-Wade as HerselfDave Wade as Himself

Kanata 9-1-1, Episode #09 by Bill Demmery
Proactive Kanata 9-1-1 operators telephone Kanata denizens, looking for emergencies. A stalled truck on the highway means coffee-delivery chaos.
Vox: Bill Demmery as SupervisorRichard Hemphill as Caller #2Richard Parks as Caller #3Tonia Snow as AnnouncerMarg Tannahill-Wade as Caller #1 and Operator

I-Ams for Seniors by Bill Demmery
Keep Grampa's hair shiny with this exciting new food-like product!
Vox: Bill Demmery as GrampaRichard Parks as AnnouncerMarg Tannahill-Wade as Mom

Dionmonisation #2 by Bill Demmery
"Stephane Dion doesn't stoically shake hands with his children..."
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Announcer #1Richard Hemphill as Announcer #2

IOU Direct #03 by Bill Demmery
The creepy banker guy goes back in time to spread the message of impersonal electronic banking.
Vox: Bill Demmery as IOU Banker GuyRichard Hemphill as Cave ManShalome Swinamer as Cave Woman

Dionmonisation #3 by Bill Demmery
"Stephane Dion's platform is not based on bribing parents and working people with small amounts of their own money..."
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Announcer #2Tonia Snow as Announcer #1

  Length: 24:21  |  5.7 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 824:  Chlorination Street
Aired March 14, 2007

Vanier 9-1-1, Episode #1 by Bill Demmery
Call back when there's real trouble!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as AnnouncerRichard Hemphill as OperatorRichard Parks as Caller

Mortuary Express by Bill Demmery
He's not really a corpse...
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as CorpseRichard Hemphill as CoronerRichard Parks as Assistant

Vanier 9-1-1, Episode #2 by Bill Demmery
Found a private stash? Don't brag!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as AnnouncerRichard Hemphill as OperatorMarg Tannahill-Wade as Caller

The Chlorinator by Bill Demmery
Gay action-movie hero Helmut Weissenegger goes on a rampage across "Queensville" in pursuit of a non-existent Chlorine Baron.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Engineer and Max KreepingBill Demmery as Helmut Weissenegger and J.J. ClackersRichard Hemphill as Announcer, Clerk #2 and PolicemanTonia Snow as AgnesMarg Tannahill-Wade as Carolyn Waldorf and Clerk #1Dave Wade as Clerk #3 and Pool Boy

Vanier 9-1-1, Episode #3 by Bill Demmery
Knife fight? When they need help, they'll call!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as AnnouncerRichard Hemphill as OperatorTonia Snow as Caller

  Length: 24:33  |  5.8 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 825:  It's "Pushbroom," Silly!
Aired March 21, 2007

TravelVelocity.com by Bill Demmery
The garden gnome goes to Mexico!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Garden GnomeRichard Hemphill as El DudoRichard Parks as Announcer

Farmer's Minute #2 by Bill Demmery
Sally talks about the care and maintenance of a country girl's p*shbroom.
Vox: Richard Parks as AnnouncerMarg Tannahill-Wade as Sally

My Next Day by Bill Demmery
Sam's had a luck-filled horrible day.
Vox: Tonia Snow as LiseMarg Tannahill-Wade as Sam

The Girls of the U.N. by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #730
People say that if women ruled the world, war would become a thing of the past...
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as JapanDan Enright as Secretary-GeneralRichard Hemphill as FranceTonia Snow as Canada and GermanyMarg Tannahill-Wade as India and United States

Kanata 9-1-1, Episode #10 by Bill Demmery
Kanatans encounter the cruel realities of non-Kanatan emergency services.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Operator #1 and SupervisorAmy Ford as Operator #2Richard Hemphill as Caller #1Richard Parks as Operator #3Tonia Snow as AnnouncerMarg Tannahill-Wade as Caller #2

  Length: 25:31  |  6.0 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 826:  The Story of the Three Pigs
Aired March 28, 2007

The Story of the Three Pigs by Richard Hemphill
Jeffy's uncle tells him the story of the three pigs and their life-long conflict with the big bad wolf and other radical lupine terrorists.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Daddy Hog, Picky and PonkRichard Hemphill as Uncle Narrator and JeffyJosh McMillan as Pank and Big Bad WolfTonia Snow as Mommy Sow

  Length: 28:40  |  6.7 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 827:  Canadian Trike
Aired April 4, 2007

Canadian Trike by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #621
The crew at Lanark County Trikes put together a custom tricycle for a celebrity kid, while fighting, playing and drinking enormous quantities of Mountain Dew.
Vox: Bill Demmery as BillyRichard Hemphill as SeamusAndrew Kirkwood as Agent and Pete Jr.Tonia Snow as Niece and Stunt DoubleShalome Swinamer as AnnouncerMarg Tannahill-Wade as AlannisDave Wade as Pete Sr.

  Length: 28:58  |  13.0 MB  |  64kbps.
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Episode 828:  April Showers Make You Wet
Aired April 11, 2007

Onions off the Starboard Bow by Bill Demmery
Evil Doctor Lester Beware catches his minion, Onion, in the middle of a sci-fi daydream.
Vox: Bill Demmery as OnionRichard Hemphill as Lester Beware

Sasquatch Achoo by Dan Enright
A Rheumy Sasquatch encounters a human in the forest.
Vox: Bill Demmery as HumanDan Enright as Sasquatch

The Snobby Dollar by Tonia Snow
Does it matter where it comes from, if it's only a buck?
Vox: Bill Demmery as CustomerRichard Hemphill as Clerk

The Queen of Breaking Winds Estates by Bill Demmery

  Length: 23:31  |  5.5 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 829:  Suburban Legends
Aired April 18, 2007

Point Spread by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #729
Will little Wayne become a big hockey star? You bet!
Vox: Bill Demmery as WayneRichard Hemphill as RickyTonia Snow as Janet

Schwartz on Forts by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #623
The intrepid Mike Schwartz is on a mission to repair shoddy treehouse jobs!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Mike SchwartzJennifer Farr as Officer #1Richard Hemphill as Angry Father and Little KidMarg Tannahill-Wade as Announcer, Old Lady and Officer #2

Young George Lucas by Bill Demmery
George Lucas recounts one day in his life that had a huge influence on his favourite blockbuster movie.
Vox: Bill Demmery as C-3P-O and Master YotoRichard Hemphill as George LucasRichard Parks as Arty-D2, Hans Olaf and Stu BakkerTonia Snow as Cousin LeiaMarg Tannahill-Wade as Aunt RueDave Wade as Bartender

Kanata 9-1-1, Episode #08 by Bill Demmery
Recent arrivals from Downtown are mistaken for illegal urbigrants; a mistaken countrysider calls in; non-Kanatans invade God's Little Cornfield for a hockey game; new urbigrants take a denizenship course.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Instructor and Recorded AnnouncerBill Demmery as Caller #2Richard Hemphill as Caller #3Richard Parks as OperatorTonia Snow as AnnouncerMarg Tannahill-Wade as Caller #1

  Length: 25:00  |  5.9 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 830:  Oh! So Powerful
Aired April 25, 2007

The Big Oh! by Bill Demmery
News item: Olympic Stadium finally paid off! (And falling apart...)
Vox: Amy Ford as Mlle. LortieRichard Hemphill as Mayor TremblayRichard Parks as M. PotvinMarg Tannahill-Wade as Announcer and Mme. Guertin

Limited Power by Dan Enright
First aired in Episode #711
A motivational lecture on how to conserve your limited power.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Cue AnnouncerRichard Hemphill as Anthony Robbins

Kanata 9-1-1, Episode #13 by Bill Demmery
Cat stuck in a tree. An overstressed Operator is forced to take Discomfort Leave.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Stress CounsellorBill Demmery as OperatorTonia Snow as AnnouncerMarg Tannahill-Wade as Caller

  Length: 23:44  |  5.6 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 831:  The Revenge of Saliva-Jane
Aired May 2, 2007

The Revenge of Saliva-Jane by Richard Hemphill
It's wall-to-wall girl-on-girl rivalry, when gypsy trickster, Susan-Shelly Swanson, convinces vindictive tween, Saliva-Jane Moxon, to exact revenge on her life-long best frenemy, perpetual victim, Penny Nickels. Vengeance is hers.
Vox: Nancy Kenny as Susan-Shelly SwansonCarla Parchelo as Miss RomproustTonia Snow as Penny NickelsMarg Tannahill-Wade as Saliva-Jane

  Length: 28:05  |  6.6 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 832:  Hey Mac, Feelin' Lucky?
Aired May 9, 2007

Ontario Lotteries by Bill Demmery
Are you a shopkeeper? Play Ontario Lotteries and beat the hell outta the odds!
Vox: Bill Demmery as AnnouncerDan Enright as Shopkeeper #2Richard Parks as Shopkeeper #1Marg Tannahill-Wade as Shopkeeper #3

Mac vs. PC #01 by Bill Demmery
In this spoof of a popular series of TV commercials, Mac's hardware platform gets changed again.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as PCRichard Parks as Mac

Farmer's Minute #3 by Bill Demmery
Carl, from Carlsbad Springs, explains the fine art of sheep f*ncing.
Vox: Bill Demmery as CarlMarg Tannahill-Wade as Announcer

Mac vs. PC #02 by Bill Demmery
Mac gets the horrifying urge to do real work after his st'owner installs Vista.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as PCRichard Parks as Mac

Man About Town by Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #732
Street interviews turn ugly on the Q Channel.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Random ManRichard Hemphill as Burt DoodleyMarg Tannahill-Wade as Random Woman

Mac vs. PC #03 by Bill Demmery
Mac and PC meet Linux. She's kinda busy running most of the Internet...
Vox: Richard Hemphill as PCNancy Kenny as LinuxRichard Parks as Mac

Billionaire: One-on-One by Bill Demmery
C'mon... you always knew it was rigged...
Vox: Bill Demmery as Regis PillbottleAmy Ford as KatieRichard Parks as Stan

  Length: 26:15  |  6.2 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 833:  Finding Our Way
Aired May 16, 2007

Mac vs. PC #04 by Bill Demmery
She's hot and has a different look for every occasion.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as PCNancy Kenny as LinuxRichard Parks as Mac

Her Day by Bill Demmery
This time, it's Lise's turn. Or so she thinks.
Vox: Tonia Snow as LiseMarg Tannahill-Wade as Sam

Maid Service II by Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #810
Just when you thought it was safe to put down the mop!
Vox: Andrew Kirkwood as Simon WussyTonia Snow as Gretchen Kurdbottom

Mac vs. PC #05 by Bill Demmery
Mac gets an 'impossible' virus.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as PCRichard Parks as Mac

Kanata 9-1-1, Episode #12 by Bill Demmery
A malfunctioning new-generation, in-dash, voice-activated GPS navigation system crashes, stranding a Blackberry-Eyed driver.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as CallerNancy Kenny as OperatorTonia Snow as Announcer

Modern Class by Bill Demmery
A dedicated teacher finds a way to reach his students on their terms.
Vox: Bill Demmery as TimmyRichard Hemphill as Mikangelo and Mr. StevensRichard Parks as Joshbraham and Mr. NorburyTonia Snow as ChantandaMarg Tannahill-Wade as Suzenne

  Length: 24:33  |  5.8 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 834:  Frankenbaby
Aired May 23, 2007

Frankenbaby by Richard Hemphill
Craving inspiration, Lester Beware clones his hero, the legendary mad-scientist Dr. Victor Frankenstein, using his minion, Onion, as a human host for the embryo; but instead of getting an evil muse, he gets trapped with a very, very bad baby.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Maelstrom and MonsterBill Demmery as Onion and Dr. WickedRichard Hemphill as Lester Beware

  Length: 26:46  |  6.3 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 835:  Season Eight Finale
Aired May 30, 2007

Celebrity Spelling Bee by Bill Demmery and Tonia Snow
Noted celebrities try their hand at spelling.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as George Bush, Stephane Dion, Stephen Harper and David SuzukiRichard Parks as AnnouncerTonia Snow as Paris Hilton and Belinda Stronach

Kanata 9-1-1, Episode #11 by Bill Demmery
A dispute over paint colours erupts into a tidiness-threatening breach of local bylaws.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Kanatan #1 and NegotiatorAmy Ford as Operator and Wife #1Richard Hemphill as Kanatan #2Richard Parks as CallerMarg Tannahill-Wade as Officer Karla Wazooski and Wife #2

Dream Date by Tonia Snow
Nothing beats a relationship based on botox and hair-weaves.
Vox: Bill Demmery as KalanMarg Tannahill-Wade as Brianna

Extreme Afterlife Makeover by Bill Demmery
The Grim Reaper gets a makeover
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as RobinDan Enright as DeathTonia Snow as SueMarg Tannahill-Wade as Kaitlyn

  Length: 25:05  |  5.9 MB  |  32kbps.
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Episode 836:  Season Eight All-Outtakes Special
Aired June 6, 2007

Miscues and Glitches - Season Eight by Bill Demmery and Remote Planet
Bad timing, and things going wrong.

Out of Air and Backchatter - Season Eight by Bill Demmery and Remote Planet
Remember to breathe--and watch what you say!.

Smartass Comments - Season Eight by Bill Demmery and Remote Planet
Sometimes [usually] the wisecracks are funnier than the scripts.

Surprises - Season Eight by Bill Demmery and Remote Planet
Sometimes our lines are actually funny.

Prep - Season Eight by Bill Demmery and Remote Planet
Getting ready to perform can have its funny moments.

Flubs - Season Eight by Bill Demmery and Remote Planet
When we just plain blow it.

  Length: 23:17  |  5.5 MB  |  32kbps.
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