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Episode 801: Season Eight Premiere
Aired October 4, 2006
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Down Under by Bill Demmery
The latest in razor technology-up above and "down under!"
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Man • Bill Demmery as Announcer • Tonia Snow as Woman
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Minions Anonymous by Andrew Kirkwood
First aired in Episode #604
Finally--a charity to support the nameless pawns of powermad supervillains.
Vox: Dan Enright as Minion #1 • Richard Hemphill as Minion #3 • Shalome Swinamer as Minion #2 • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Announcer
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Blind Date Hell by Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #713
"He has a speech impediment and smells slightly of faeces..."
Vox: Nancy Kenny as Diane • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Emily
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A Day at the Spa by Bill Demmery
Anything in the name of beauty.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Yohann • Richard Hemphill as Herzberg, Kid and Ulf • Tonia Snow as Tanya • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Margaret • Dave Wade as Dad
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Cross Country by Bill Demmery
A coffee-fueled cross-country epic!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Husband • Richard Hemphill as Server • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Wife
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Length: 21:51 | 5.1 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 802: Help Is Hard to Find
Aired October 11, 2006
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Hobo Express by Bill Demmery
He's not really a hobo, but he did stay at a hotel last night!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Hobo • Bill Demmery as Passerby • Tonia Snow as Announcer
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Honest Ted's Funeral Fun Factory by Dan Enright
First aired in Episode #706
Honest Ted puts the fun back into funerals!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Honest Ted, Teen Dude and Pirate • Richard Hemphill as Mourning Man and Preacher • Tonia Snow as Little Girl and Raver Girl • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Old Lady
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Maid Service by Bill Demmery and Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #619
Cleaning can be fun!
Vox: Andrew Kirkwood as Simon Wussy • Tonia Snow as Gretchen Kurdbottom
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Kanata 9-1-1, Episode #06 by Bill Demmery
Internet Down: Economic catastrophe strikes God's Little Cornfield as a denizen's Internet connection fails!
Vox: Dan Enright as Operator • Richard Hemphill as Caller • Tonia Snow as Announcer
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Computing with Tardzan by Bill Demmery
Our favourite apeman talks about computers bugs and walls of fire.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Announcer • Richard Hemphill as Tardzan • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Janet
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Can't Get Yer Kids... #2 by Bill Demmery
Cant' get yer kids to leave home? Here's an idea...
Vox: Marg Tannahill-Wade as Crazy Old Lady
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Length: 22:27 | 5.3 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 803: Summer Is Definitely Over
Aired October 18, 2006
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Can't Get Yer Kids... #3 by Bill Demmery
Can't get yer kids to leave home? Here's an idea...
Vox: Marg Tannahill-Wade as Crazy Old Lady
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Equal Opportunity Bigot by Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #724
Offense is in the selective eye of the beholder.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Joe • Richard Hemphill as Bubba-Cooter
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Snoozy Suzie's Summer Holidays by Bill Demmery
Banned from Summer Camp, feisty little Snoozy Suzie builds her own.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Geezix • Richard Hemphill as Camp Counsellor and Little Kid • Tonia Snow as Snoozy Suzie • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Mom and Ms. Quarterpanel • Dave Wade as Dad
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Facing Your Mortality by Richard Hemphill
First aired in Episode #623
VasculocranialhypoleukoWHAT? Ginger Beware conducts a terminal interview.
Vox: Dan Enright as Ginger Beware • Andrew Kirkwood as Ewen McEwen
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Length: 22:00 | 5.2 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 804: 2006 Funding Drive Episode #1
Aired October 25, 2006
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Always Wired on Tim Hortons by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #722
Dear ol' Dad's had one too many.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Lou • Bill Demmery as Dad • Richard Hemphill as Son
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Candida and Geneva at the Wax Museum by Richard Hemphill
First aired in Episode #623
Wax dummies are poor conversationalists.
Vox: Tonia Snow as Candida • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Geneva
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RP's Funniest Moments #1 by Remote Planet
A montage of funny moments on Remote Planet.
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The Rectal Muffler by Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #719
D'you smell cherries?
Vox: Bill Demmery as Nerdy Guy • Richard Hemphill as Announcer • Tonia Snow as Tired Lady and Supermodel
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Popsi-Cola #1 by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #732
A sentimental look back at Dear Old Mom.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Announcer and Landscaping Boss • Dan Enright as Guy • Tonia Snow as Mom
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Beach Blanket Baileys by Bill Demmery
Just try drinking around the campfire like they do on TV!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Max Kreeping • Richard Hemphill as Major Makeup • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Carol-Anne Meighen-Ewen
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RP's Funniest Moments #2 by Bill Demmery and Remote Planet
More funny moments from Remote Planet.
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Length: 17:52 | 4.2 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 805: 2006 Funding Drive Episode #2
Aired November 1, 2006
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The New Guy by Bill Demmery and Shalome Swinamer
First aired in Episode #719
Haysoos pays a visit to the new Pope.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Pope Benedict • Richard Hemphill as Camerlengo • Shalome Swinamer as Haysoos
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Candida and Geneva On the Street by Richard Hemphill
First aired in Episode #733
Candida and Geneva play Whore/Not Whore on the streets of Vanier.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Creepy Guy • Tonia Snow as Candida • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Geneva
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Thanks 4 Asking by Richard Hemphill
First aired in Episode #733
A young man breaks the news to his parents: he's... Super.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Son • Richard Hemphill as Dad • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Mom
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Daddys' Boys by Bill Demmery and Tonia Snow
Ben and Justin trade barbs and boasts.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Justin • Andrew Kirkwood as Ben
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Length: 15:45 | 3.7 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 806: Leggo My Soul!
Aired November 8, 2006
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Can't Get Yer Kids... #4 by Bill Demmery
Can't get yer kids to leave home? Here's an idea...
Vox: Marg Tannahill-Wade as Crazy Old Lady
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Popsi-Cola #2 by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #732
Memorable 80's music turns morning commuters into street dancers!
Vox: Dan Enright as Guy • Richard Hemphill as Announcer • Tonia Snow as Gal
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Satan vs. Canada by Bill Demmery and Tonia Snow
The Prince of Darkness sues over unlicensed use of "666."
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Judge • Richard Hemphill as Satan • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Defense Attorney
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Sponsored by Acme by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #733
A community events calendar from the year 2011.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Announcer #2 • Richard Hemphill as Announcer #1 • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Announcer #3
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Late Night with the Friendly Giant by Bill Demmery
Friendly and the boys laugh it up, and Guy Fawkes brings the house down.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Friendly, Rusty, Jerome and Guy Fawkes • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Queen Elizabeth I
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Length: 23:03 | 5.4 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 807: All You Planet Are Belong to Us
Aired November 15, 2006
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Can't Get Yer Kids... #5 by Bill Demmery
Can't get yer kids to leave home? Here's an idea...
Vox: Marg Tannahill-Wade as Crazy Old Lady
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The Squeaky Tire by Bill Demmery
What's that squeaking sound coming from Johnny's room?
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Johnny • Richard Hemphill as Dad • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Mom
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A Visit from the Tooth Fairy by Richard Hemphill
First aired in Episode #623
Tooth Fairy hiring standards have gone wayyy down!
Vox: Bill Demmery as the Tooth Fairy • Richard Hemphill as Little Kid
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Dream Date 2 by Bill Demmery
Your dream man just might have looked you up online...
Vox: Tonia Snow as Joanette • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Natasha • Dave Wade as Ingemar
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Snort-Rite by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #722
Some men just ain't comfortable at the pharmacy.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Man • Tonia Snow as Clerk • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Woman
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Kanata 9-1-1, Episode #07 by Bill Demmery
An unstylish Downtowner escapes from the bus compound and terrorises the Kanata Centrum until apprehended by a takedown team!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Officer Kyle Wazooski • Richard Hemphill as Caller • Tonia Snow as Announcer • Dave Wade as Operator
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The Squeaky Tire, Smartass Edition by Bill Demmery
This is what happens when the producer steps outside for a moment...
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Mom • Richard Hemphill as Dad • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Johnny
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Length: 23:08 | 5.4 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 808: The Big Lazy
Aired November 22, 2006
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Down Under by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #801
The latest in razor technology-up above and "down under!"
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Man • Bill Demmery as Announcer • Tonia Snow as Woman
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Daddys' Boys by Bill Demmery and Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #805
Ben and Justin trade barbs and boasts.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Justin • Andrew Kirkwood as Ben
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Cross Country by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #801
A coffee-fueled cross-country epic!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Husband • Richard Hemphill as Server • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Wife
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Bashing the Fat by Tonia Snow
Let the Nutripharmagenobiological Society help you lose weight the spirit-crushing way!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Announcer • Richard Hemphill as Jurgen • Andrew Kirkwood as Angus and Wimpy Guy • Tonia Snow as Mandy
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A Day at the Spa by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #801
Anything in the name of beauty.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Yohann • Richard Hemphill as Herzberg, Kid and Ulf • Tonia Snow as Tanya • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Margaret • Dave Wade as Dad
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Length: 22:10 | 5.2 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 809: Swish Me Up
Aired November 29, 2006
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Can't Get Yer Kids... #6 by Bill Demmery
Can't get yer kids to leave home? Here's an idea...
Vox: Marg Tannahill-Wade as Crazy Old Lady
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Temporarily Yours by Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #728
Temp agency terror.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Candidate • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Recruiter
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Swisher Mop by Bill Demmery
Retired adult video stars Jon Buryme and Candi Cans flog a revolutionary new mop in their own inimitable way.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Jon Buryme • Tonia Snow as Candi Cans
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Moose Nads College by Bill Demmery and Marg Tannahill-Wade
Pragmatic students choose Moose Nads College of the North!
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Announcer • Andrew Kirkwood as Guy • Tonia Snow as Gal
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Length: 22:29 | 5.3 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 810: Are You Being Servile?
Aired December 6, 2006
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Glade Maritimes Collection by Bill Demmery and Tonia Snow
Enjoy new fragrances like Low Tide and After The Hooley!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Little Girl and Friend • Bill Demmery as Paulice • Richard Parks as Announcer • Tonia Snow as Mom
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Out of Line by Tonia Snow
Would you like fries with that cash withdrawal?
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Clerk #1 • Dan Enright as Clerk #2 • Richard Hemphill as Customer
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A Fine Romance by Richard Hemphill
First aired in Episode #604
...except, he's married...
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Reginald • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Betty
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Maid Service II by Tonia Snow
Just when you thought it was safe to put down the mop!
Vox: Andrew Kirkwood as Simon Wussy • Tonia Snow as Gretchen Kurdbottom
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Death Prattle by Bill Demmery
Even Death and Satan are not above a little professional rivalry.
Vox: Dan Enright as Death • Richard Hemphill as Satan
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Length: 22:46 | 5.3 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 811: Running Satire
Aired December 13, 2006
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Whenevers by Bill Demmery
The new hyperabsorbent adult undergarment - careful with that swimming pool!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Old Man • Tonia Snow as Old Woman • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Announcer
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Canadian Tireless by Marc-André Bélair
First aired in Episode #726
The jobless Canadian Tire couple ask an Italian Don for help.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Waiter • Bill Demmery as Ted • Richard Hemphill as Don Fettuccine • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Gloria
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The Angel Hunter by Bill Demmery
A fond and slightly cheeky tribute to the late Paul Irwin.
Vox: Bill Demmery as The Angel Hunter • Richard Hemphill as Caught Angel • Tonia Snow as Singing Angel
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On the Run Again by Bill Demmery
A cheeky tribute to Wayne Rostad's TV show. Which was cancelled shortly after this aired. Ouch.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Wayne Rostad • Richard Hemphill as Goober McCready • Andrew Kirkwood as Police Officer • Tonia Snow as Announcer
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Length: 22:26 | 5.2 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 812: Santa Claus Is Running This Town
Aired December 20, 2006
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Santa Claus Is Running This Town by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #709
Santa Claus hires some muscle to help with 'donations' at the Toy Parade. Tooth Fairy subplot shamelessly appropriated from Richard Hemphill.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Max Kreeping • Bill Demmery as Vito Chiarelli • Richard Hemphill as Fire Chief Woody Burns • Tonia Snow as Little Suzie • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Verma Celli • Dave Wade as Santa Claus
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The Remote Before Christmas by Bill Demmery and Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #709
Cheesy Yuletide studio poetry.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Himself • Tonia Snow as Herself
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Length: 28:51 | 13.0 MB | 64kbps. |
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Episode 813: As the Pole Turns 2005
Aired December 27, 2006
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As the Pole Turns 2005 by Richard Hemphill
First aired in Episode #710
Poor Santa Claus and the residents of the North Pole are thrown into melodramatic mayhem when Rudolph's alcoholism and Mrs. Claus' infidelity surface during the Christmas season. Featuring seasonal old school hip hop classics. A re-editing of the original hour-long classic from Season Three.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Dr. Nudo, Elf Two, Jeffy, Lester Beware, Mandrake, Phone Voice and Vlad • Chris Laursen as Elf One, Onion and Santa Claus • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Mrs. Claus and Sammy • Shalome Swinamer as Soap Voice, Trixie and Wilma • Rachel Tannahill as Vienna de Beauchampignon
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Length: 29:35 | 13.0 MB | 64kbps. |
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Episode 814: Adding It Up
Aired January 3, 2007
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MasterSwipe #1 by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #613
Showin' off yer scars at the tavern for free drinks: priceless!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Announcer • Dan Enright as Hospital Announcer • Richard Hemphill as Bratty Kid #1 • Andrew Kirkwood as Bratty Kid #2 • Tonia Snow as Wife
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Respiralux by Dan Enright
First aired in Episode #506
Who needs atmosphere to get a breath of fresh air?
Vox: Dan Enright as Ginger Beware and Announcer • Juanita DeVos as Preacher Woman • Jamie Douglas as Man
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Ritalin for Husbands by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #616
Are you having trouble with your husband?
Vox: Bill Demmery as Husband • Andrew Kirkwood as Announcer • Tonia Snow as Wife
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MasterSwipe #2 by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #613
Don't worry, don't worry--we'll plead Nakedus Corpuses!
Vox: Damien Bailey as Cosmetician • Marc-André Bélair as Pageant Clerk • Bill Demmery as Hairstylist • Dan Enright as Announcer, Customer and Maniac • Richard Hemphill as Salesman • Andrew Kirkwood as Lawyer • Tonia Snow as Saleswoman
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Apocalypso! by Richard Hemphill
First aired in Episode #604
The Apocalypse, playing now!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Critic and Dude • Dan Enright as Announcer and Husband • Richard Hemphill as crazed Preacher • Andrew Kirkwood as Nerd • Tonia Snow as Wife • Shalome Swinamer as Lady #1 • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Lady #2
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Squeak! by Dan Enright
First aired in Episode #724
Catch the hazy new craze that's sweeping Vancouver!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as British Chap • Bill Demmery as Mayor Cliffy • Richard Hemphill as Announcer and Stoned Dude
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Good Clean Innocent Fun Poker Party Dot-Net by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #733
Learn how to lose your life's savings through online gambling!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Announcer #2 • Richard Hemphill as Announcer #1 and Addictionations Counsellor • Tonia Snow as Gambler #2 • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Gambler #1 • Dave Wade as Gambler #3
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MasterSwipe #3 by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #613
Don't forget the safety ropes...
Vox: Damien Bailey as Salesman • Marc-André Bélair as Caver #2 • Bill Demmery as Curator • Richard Hemphill as Caver #1 and Rescuer • Andrew Kirkwood as Caver #1 • Tonia Snow as Announcer
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IOU Direct #01 by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #619
Give us your money.
Vox: Bill Demmery as IOU Banker Guy
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Choking Hazard Barbie by Dan Enright
First aired in Episode #611
Introducing the little plastic bee-otch with hands of steel!
Vox: Damien Bailey as Announcer • Bill Demmery as Crusty Father • Dan Enright as Little Boy #3 • Richard Hemphill as Little Boy #1 • Andrew Kirkwood as Little Boy #2 • Tonia Snow as Little Girl • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Docile Mother and Flower
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Happy Brand Kitchen Bags by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #712
How to deal with handsome, silver-tongued devils leaping through your kitchen window.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Man from Happy • Richard Hemphill as Voiceover • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Housewife
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Length: 24:51 | 5.8 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 815: Random Noises
Aired January 10, 2007
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Urban Blizzard by Bill Demmery
A wintertime smoke break becomes a struggle for survival.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Seb • Bill Demmery as Bob • Richard Hemphill as Frank • Tonia Snow as Janelle
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The One-Tonne Challenge by Bill Demmery and Marg Tannahill-Wade
First aired in Episode #623
The operative word here is "retaaaaaarded!"
Vox: Bill Demmery as Rick Mercer • Jennifer Farr as Passerby #2 • Richard Hemphill as Passerby #1 • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Passerby #3
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Happily Ever After by Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #726
Have you ever wondered what happens after the fairy tale ends? 'Beauty and 'Rella get together and dish!
Vox: Nancy Kenny as Cinderella • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Sleeping Beauty
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The Adventures of Random Man by Bill Demmery
Our split-personality hero stops crimes through random acts!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Announcer and Robber #2 • Bill Demmery as Bystander #1 and Radio Announcer • Richard Hemphill as Bystander #2, Random Man, Robber #1 and Server • Andrew Kirkwood as Bank Manager, Bank Teller and Random Man • Tonia Snow as Chaos Girl
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Arts Interview by Dan Enright
An interviewer, a chiropractor, and a duck. Spot the quack! Introducing Laughterpiece Theatre, a new sister sketch-comedy group in Vancouver!
Vox: Dan Enright as Interviewer • David Wignal as Chiropractor
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Length: 25:28 | 6.0 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 816: Across the Universe!
Aired January 17, 2007
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Across the Universe! by Richard Hemphill
Gaadaan and Baanaanaa return to earth to retrieve Florence Turvey, veteran alien abductee, and her highly-coveted biological robotic clone; but Florence gets kidnapped mid-abduction by another race of aliens.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Alien #2 • Bill Demmery as Vanallenbelt • Dan Enright as Lawrence Turvey • Richard Hemphill as Baanaanaa and Ochto • Andrew Kirkwood as Gaadaan • Tonia Snow as Alien #1 • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Florence Turvey
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Length: 27:33 | 6.4 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 817: On a Tear
Aired January 24, 2007
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Farmer's Minute #1 by Bill Demmery
A local farmer discusses trouble with p*stholes out in the country.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Clem • Richard Parks as Interviewer
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Kanata 9-1-1, Episode #05 by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #732
Gripping suspense as a non-Kanatan infiltrates the Sensplex!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Officer Kyle Wazooski • Richard Hemphill as Operator • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Caller • Tonia Snow as Announcer
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It's a Dog's Life by Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #724
Two canine denizens catch up on recent events.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Rex • Richard Hemphill as Max
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Tears Are Not Enough by Dan Enright
Canada's brightest community radio sketch-comedy talents come together for a benefit song after the roof collapses at BC Place. From Dan Enright's Laughterpiece Theatre in Vancouver.
Vox: Bill Demmery • Dan Enright • Richard Hemphill • Richard Parks • David Wignal • Jenny Young
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My So-Called Val Pak Life by Richard Hemphill
First aired in Episode #605
For his ongoing effort to create an oral history of the community of people who live just outside the trailer park known as Lucky Fortune Estates in the vicinity of greater White Bluffs, some PhD candidate interviews the Muckers.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Interviewer • Richard Hemphill as Donny Mucker • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Connie Mucker
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Length: 25:00 | 5.9 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 818: Both Kinds of Savage
Aired January 31, 2007
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Savage Remedies by Bill Demmery
Simple jungle savages help discover Viagra, make killing on pharma stocks.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Researcher #1 and Savage #2 • Richard Hemphill as Researcher #2 and Savage #1 • Andrew Kirkwood as Announcer • Tonia Snow as Translator
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Maritime Language Tapes by Bill Demmery and Tonia Snow
Jiggle your cod and learn along!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Instructor • Richard Parks as Student • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Narrator
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DIY by Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #719
Why men think of hardware stores asir turf.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Clerk • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Customer
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Frat Brothers by Dan Enright
It's all about the whooppee cushions. From Dan Enright's Laughterpiece Theatre in Vancouver.
Vox: Dan Enright • David Wignal • Jenny Young
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Both Kinds of Max by Bill Demmery
Both Kinds of Music gets a co-host.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Max Kreeping • Richard Parks as Himself
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Length: 22:34 | 5.3 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 819: Richard Hemphill's The She Pirate
Aired February 7, 2007
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The She Pirate 2007 by Richard Hemphill
A pirate ship bound for the new world is plagued by its lady financier, Fiamella Automatica, who is most certain that major changes must be made to ensure the voyage's success. She starts a campaign to turn the crew into proper ladies, pushing the captain near the brink. A half-length cut of the original which aired December 4, 2001.
Vox: Dan Enright as Geoduck • Richard Hemphill as Captain • Chris Laursen as Pismo and Quahog • Shalome Swinamer as Fiamella Automatica
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Length: 27:45 | 6.5 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 820: Snoozy Suzie's Valentine, Part One
Aired February 14, 2007
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Snoozy Suzie's Valentine, Part One by Bill Demmery
Little Snoozy Suzie rails against the overcommercialisation of Valentine's Day, and ignites a massive riot. Geezix recovers from his Hallowe'en injuries and becomes an inspiration toa ll, and Fire Chief Burns whips the Juvenile Delinquents into shape. Originally aired in two parts on February 14 and 21. Presented here as one integral episode.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Juvenile Delinquent and Max Kreeping • Bill Demmery as Geezix • Richard Hemphill as Fire Chief Woody Burns and Mr. Muchengelt • Richard Parks as Hyper Harry • Tonia Snow as Snoozy Suzie • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Carol-Anne Meighen-Ewen, Mom, Mrs. Battelwagen and Stefany • Dave Wade as Dad
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Length: 37:24 | 8.8 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 821: Snoozy Suzie's Valentine, Part Two
Aired February 21, 2007
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Snoozy Suzie's Valentine, Part Two by Bill Demmery
The conclusion of our new Valentine's classic. Audio portion included in #820 and omitted from this online episode.
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Dr. Phoney by Bill Demmery
Catch radio's latest pop-psychologist sensation!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Dr. Bill • Richard Hemphill as Marvin • Richard Parks as Announcer • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Kylia
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Asshole Express by Bill Demmery
Stay over and be the best asshole you can be!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Officer • Amy Ford as Lady #2 • Richard Hemphill as Asshole • Richard Parks as Announcer and Cashier • Tonia Snow as Lady #1 • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Old Lady
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Length: 06:02 | 1.4 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 822: Richard Hemphill's The Tea Party
Aired February 28, 2007
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The Tea Party 2007 by Richard Hemphill
Two aliens from the far away galaxy of Praaaaan travel to the blue planet to try and gain a better understanding of a potential interstellar enemy. Humans turn out to be much more foul than they imagined. A half-length cut of the original which aired November 27, 2001.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Mobile Alabama, Baanaanaa and Waddles • Chris Laursen as Augusta Georgia and Raajaa
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Length: 27:32 | 6.5 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 823: Demons and Dollars
Aired March 7, 2007
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Dionmonisation #1 by Bill Demmery
"Stephane Dion does not have empty, soulless eyes..." A backhanded spoof of the recent Conservative attack ads.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Announcer #2 • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Announcer #1
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Courting Margaret by Bill Demmery and Dave Wade
A dramatic enactment of what was supposed to happen in-studio last summer. (Yes, they did actually get married!)
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Matt Damon as Richard Hemphill • Tonia Snow as Herself • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Herself • Dave Wade as Himself
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Kanata 9-1-1, Episode #09 by Bill Demmery
Proactive Kanata 9-1-1 operators telephone Kanata denizens, looking for emergencies. A stalled truck on the highway means coffee-delivery chaos.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Supervisor • Richard Hemphill as Caller #2 • Richard Parks as Caller #3 • Tonia Snow as Announcer • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Caller #1 and Operator
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I-Ams for Seniors by Bill Demmery
Keep Grampa's hair shiny with this exciting new food-like product!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Grampa • Richard Parks as Announcer • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Mom
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Dionmonisation #2 by Bill Demmery
"Stephane Dion doesn't stoically shake hands with his children..."
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Announcer #1 • Richard Hemphill as Announcer #2
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IOU Direct #03 by Bill Demmery
The creepy banker guy goes back in time to spread the message of impersonal electronic banking.
Vox: Bill Demmery as IOU Banker Guy • Richard Hemphill as Cave Man • Shalome Swinamer as Cave Woman
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Dionmonisation #3 by Bill Demmery
"Stephane Dion's platform is not based on bribing parents and working people with small amounts of their own money..."
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Announcer #2 • Tonia Snow as Announcer #1
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Length: 24:21 | 5.7 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 824: Chlorination Street
Aired March 14, 2007
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Vanier 9-1-1, Episode #1 by Bill Demmery
Call back when there's real trouble!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Announcer • Richard Hemphill as Operator • Richard Parks as Caller
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Mortuary Express by Bill Demmery
He's not really a corpse...
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Corpse • Richard Hemphill as Coroner • Richard Parks as Assistant
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Vanier 9-1-1, Episode #2 by Bill Demmery
Found a private stash? Don't brag!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Announcer • Richard Hemphill as Operator • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Caller
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The Chlorinator by Bill Demmery
Gay action-movie hero Helmut Weissenegger goes on a rampage across "Queensville" in pursuit of a non-existent Chlorine Baron.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Engineer and Max Kreeping • Bill Demmery as Helmut Weissenegger and J.J. Clackers • Richard Hemphill as Announcer, Clerk #2 and Policeman • Tonia Snow as Agnes • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Carolyn Waldorf and Clerk #1 • Dave Wade as Clerk #3 and Pool Boy
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Vanier 9-1-1, Episode #3 by Bill Demmery
Knife fight? When they need help, they'll call!
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Announcer • Richard Hemphill as Operator • Tonia Snow as Caller
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Length: 24:33 | 5.8 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 825: It's "Pushbroom," Silly!
Aired March 21, 2007
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TravelVelocity.com by Bill Demmery
The garden gnome goes to Mexico!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Garden Gnome • Richard Hemphill as El Dudo • Richard Parks as Announcer
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Farmer's Minute #2 by Bill Demmery
Sally talks about the care and maintenance of a country girl's p*shbroom.
Vox: Richard Parks as Announcer • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Sally
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My Next Day by Bill Demmery
Sam's had a luck-filled horrible day.
Vox: Tonia Snow as Lise • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Sam
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The Girls of the U.N. by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #730
People say that if women ruled the world, war would become a thing of the past...
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Japan • Dan Enright as Secretary-General • Richard Hemphill as France • Tonia Snow as Canada and Germany • Marg Tannahill-Wade as India and United States
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Kanata 9-1-1, Episode #10 by Bill Demmery
Kanatans encounter the cruel realities of non-Kanatan emergency services.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Operator #1 and Supervisor • Amy Ford as Operator #2 • Richard Hemphill as Caller #1 • Richard Parks as Operator #3 • Tonia Snow as Announcer • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Caller #2
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Length: 25:31 | 6.0 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 826: The Story of the Three Pigs
Aired March 28, 2007
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The Story of the Three Pigs by Richard Hemphill
Jeffy's uncle tells him the story of the three pigs and their life-long conflict with the big bad wolf and other radical lupine terrorists.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Daddy Hog, Picky and Ponk • Richard Hemphill as Uncle Narrator and Jeffy • Josh McMillan as Pank and Big Bad Wolf • Tonia Snow as Mommy Sow
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Length: 28:40 | 6.7 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 827: Canadian Trike
Aired April 4, 2007
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Canadian Trike by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #621
The crew at Lanark County Trikes put together a custom tricycle for a celebrity kid, while fighting, playing and drinking enormous quantities of Mountain Dew.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Billy • Richard Hemphill as Seamus • Andrew Kirkwood as Agent and Pete Jr. • Tonia Snow as Niece and Stunt Double • Shalome Swinamer as Announcer • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Alannis • Dave Wade as Pete Sr.
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Length: 28:58 | 13.0 MB | 64kbps. |
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Episode 828: April Showers Make You Wet
Aired April 11, 2007
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Onions off the Starboard Bow by Bill Demmery
Evil Doctor Lester Beware catches his minion, Onion, in the middle of a sci-fi daydream.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Onion • Richard Hemphill as Lester Beware
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Sasquatch Achoo by Dan Enright
A Rheumy Sasquatch encounters a human in the forest.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Human • Dan Enright as Sasquatch
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The Snobby Dollar by Tonia Snow
Does it matter where it comes from, if it's only a buck?
Vox: Bill Demmery as Customer • Richard Hemphill as Clerk
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The Queen of Breaking Winds Estates by Bill Demmery
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Length: 23:31 | 5.5 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 829: Suburban Legends
Aired April 18, 2007
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Point Spread by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #729
Will little Wayne become a big hockey star? You bet!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Wayne • Richard Hemphill as Ricky • Tonia Snow as Janet
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Schwartz on Forts by Bill Demmery
First aired in Episode #623
The intrepid Mike Schwartz is on a mission to repair shoddy treehouse jobs!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Mike Schwartz • Jennifer Farr as Officer #1 • Richard Hemphill as Angry Father and Little Kid • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Announcer, Old Lady and Officer #2
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Young George Lucas by Bill Demmery
George Lucas recounts one day in his life that had a huge influence on his favourite blockbuster movie.
Vox: Bill Demmery as C-3P-O and Master Yoto • Richard Hemphill as George Lucas • Richard Parks as Arty-D2, Hans Olaf and Stu Bakker • Tonia Snow as Cousin Leia • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Aunt Rue • Dave Wade as Bartender
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Kanata 9-1-1, Episode #08 by Bill Demmery
Recent arrivals from Downtown are mistaken for illegal urbigrants; a mistaken countrysider calls in; non-Kanatans invade God's Little Cornfield for a hockey game; new urbigrants take a denizenship course.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Instructor and Recorded Announcer • Bill Demmery as Caller #2 • Richard Hemphill as Caller #3 • Richard Parks as Operator • Tonia Snow as Announcer • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Caller #1
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Length: 25:00 | 5.9 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 830: Oh! So Powerful
Aired April 25, 2007
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The Big Oh! by Bill Demmery
News item: Olympic Stadium finally paid off! (And falling apart...)
Vox: Amy Ford as Mlle. Lortie • Richard Hemphill as Mayor Tremblay • Richard Parks as M. Potvin • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Announcer and Mme. Guertin
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Limited Power by Dan Enright
First aired in Episode #711
A motivational lecture on how to conserve your limited power.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Cue Announcer • Richard Hemphill as Anthony Robbins
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Kanata 9-1-1, Episode #13 by Bill Demmery
Cat stuck in a tree. An overstressed Operator is forced to take Discomfort Leave.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Stress Counsellor • Bill Demmery as Operator • Tonia Snow as Announcer • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Caller
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Length: 23:44 | 5.6 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 831: The Revenge of Saliva-Jane
Aired May 2, 2007
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The Revenge of Saliva-Jane by Richard Hemphill
It's wall-to-wall girl-on-girl rivalry, when gypsy trickster, Susan-Shelly Swanson, convinces vindictive tween, Saliva-Jane Moxon, to exact revenge on her life-long best frenemy, perpetual victim, Penny Nickels. Vengeance is hers.
Vox: Nancy Kenny as Susan-Shelly Swanson • Carla Parchelo as Miss Romproust • Tonia Snow as Penny Nickels • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Saliva-Jane
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Length: 28:05 | 6.6 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 832: Hey Mac, Feelin' Lucky?
Aired May 9, 2007
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Ontario Lotteries by Bill Demmery
Are you a shopkeeper? Play Ontario Lotteries and beat the hell outta the odds!
Vox: Bill Demmery as Announcer • Dan Enright as Shopkeeper #2 • Richard Parks as Shopkeeper #1 • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Shopkeeper #3
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Mac vs. PC #01 by Bill Demmery
In this spoof of a popular series of TV commercials, Mac's hardware platform gets changed again.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as PC • Richard Parks as Mac
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Farmer's Minute #3 by Bill Demmery
Carl, from Carlsbad Springs, explains the fine art of sheep f*ncing.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Carl • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Announcer
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Mac vs. PC #02 by Bill Demmery
Mac gets the horrifying urge to do real work after his st'owner installs Vista.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as PC • Richard Parks as Mac
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Man About Town by Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #732
Street interviews turn ugly on the Q Channel.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Random Man • Richard Hemphill as Burt Doodley • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Random Woman
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Mac vs. PC #03 by Bill Demmery
Mac and PC meet Linux. She's kinda busy running most of the Internet...
Vox: Richard Hemphill as PC • Nancy Kenny as Linux • Richard Parks as Mac
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Billionaire: One-on-One by Bill Demmery
C'mon... you always knew it was rigged...
Vox: Bill Demmery as Regis Pillbottle • Amy Ford as Katie • Richard Parks as Stan
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Length: 26:15 | 6.2 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 833: Finding Our Way
Aired May 16, 2007
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Mac vs. PC #04 by Bill Demmery
She's hot and has a different look for every occasion.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as PC • Nancy Kenny as Linux • Richard Parks as Mac
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Her Day by Bill Demmery
This time, it's Lise's turn. Or so she thinks.
Vox: Tonia Snow as Lise • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Sam
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Maid Service II by Tonia Snow
First aired in Episode #810
Just when you thought it was safe to put down the mop!
Vox: Andrew Kirkwood as Simon Wussy • Tonia Snow as Gretchen Kurdbottom
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Mac vs. PC #05 by Bill Demmery
Mac gets an 'impossible' virus.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as PC • Richard Parks as Mac
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Kanata 9-1-1, Episode #12 by Bill Demmery
A malfunctioning new-generation, in-dash, voice-activated GPS navigation system crashes, stranding a Blackberry-Eyed driver.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as Caller • Nancy Kenny as Operator • Tonia Snow as Announcer
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Modern Class by Bill Demmery
A dedicated teacher finds a way to reach his students on their terms.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Timmy • Richard Hemphill as Mikangelo and Mr. Stevens • Richard Parks as Joshbraham and Mr. Norbury • Tonia Snow as Chantanda • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Suzenne
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Length: 24:33 | 5.8 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 834: Frankenbaby
Aired May 23, 2007
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Frankenbaby by Richard Hemphill
Craving inspiration, Lester Beware clones his hero, the legendary mad-scientist Dr. Victor Frankenstein, using his minion, Onion, as a human host for the embryo; but instead of getting an evil muse, he gets trapped with a very, very bad baby.
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Maelstrom and Monster • Bill Demmery as Onion and Dr. Wicked • Richard Hemphill as Lester Beware
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Length: 26:46 | 6.3 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 835: Season Eight Finale
Aired May 30, 2007
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Celebrity Spelling Bee by Bill Demmery and Tonia Snow
Noted celebrities try their hand at spelling.
Vox: Richard Hemphill as George Bush, Stephane Dion, Stephen Harper and David Suzuki • Richard Parks as Announcer • Tonia Snow as Paris Hilton and Belinda Stronach
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Kanata 9-1-1, Episode #11 by Bill Demmery
A dispute over paint colours erupts into a tidiness-threatening breach of local bylaws.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Kanatan #1 and Negotiator • Amy Ford as Operator and Wife #1 • Richard Hemphill as Kanatan #2 • Richard Parks as Caller • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Officer Karla Wazooski and Wife #2
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Dream Date by Tonia Snow
Nothing beats a relationship based on botox and hair-weaves.
Vox: Bill Demmery as Kalan • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Brianna
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Extreme Afterlife Makeover by Bill Demmery
The Grim Reaper gets a makeover
Vox: Marc-André Bélair as Robin • Dan Enright as Death • Tonia Snow as Sue • Marg Tannahill-Wade as Kaitlyn
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Length: 25:05 | 5.9 MB | 32kbps. |
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Episode 836: Season Eight All-Outtakes Special
Aired June 6, 2007
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Miscues and Glitches - Season Eight by Bill Demmery and Remote Planet
Bad timing, and things going wrong.
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Out of Air and Backchatter - Season Eight by Bill Demmery and Remote Planet
Remember to breathe--and watch what you say!.
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Smartass Comments - Season Eight by Bill Demmery and Remote Planet
Sometimes [usually] the wisecracks are funnier than the scripts.
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Surprises - Season Eight by Bill Demmery and Remote Planet
Sometimes our lines are actually funny.
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Prep - Season Eight by Bill Demmery and Remote Planet
Getting ready to perform can have its funny moments.
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Flubs - Season Eight by Bill Demmery and Remote Planet
When we just plain blow it.
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Length: 23:17 | 5.5 MB | 32kbps. |
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